A Blog About Thangs

It's Back

2009-10-20T18:23:00.003-04:00

30 Rock is back! Thoughts?

My favorite part about it being back - related twits from Kate, like this gem:

@breimels "You've got cheesy blasters! Thanks meat cat!" This makes me miss
you... so much.

See it for yourself:

Not So Perfect?

2009-10-20T18:21:00.002-04:00

This article is just sort of sad. Makes you rethink all those crazy, happy moments on one of the more popular (maybe with just quirky kids) sitcoms from my childhood.

So this is what the future looks like?

2009-09-15T19:39:00.006-04:00

Watch Jeopardy? If you do, you might notice that for the show's 26th season, a new set was unveiled. I was no fan of the Moose lodge, wood-paneled set of a few years ago but this new set takes the cake. It's as if the set designers took the mindset of 1940's engineers who tried to imagine what the future would look like. We know how that turned out.

Need A Pick-Me-Up?

2009-09-15T18:20:00.001-04:00

Whitney Houston is back, and this is a good thing. No more crack, no more Bobby Brown, and no more reality shows.

Watch. Listen. Welcome Back.

Remembering Stephen Huczko

2009-09-11T08:07:00.003-04:00

There's no one way (or an easy way) to remember someone who died on September 11, 2001. Being a part of Project 2996, however, I'm trying to do my small part to make sure that Stephen Huczko's memory is not forgotten.

Stephen Huczko was a police officer for fifteen years, working with the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. Stephen was headquartered in Jersey City, an arm's length away from the World Trade Center. As the attacks ensued that day, Stephen and other members of the Port Authority police force rushed into the lobby of the North Tower, but never made it back out. Stephen, thinking only of others at that time, was attempting to save a female civilian stuck in the lobby.

Remembering Stephen's heroic actions on that day only serves to memorialize part of his life. Stephen lived in Bethlehem, New Jersey, with his wife Kate, and their four children, Kaitlyn, Liam, Cullen, and Aidan. Stephen was an exceptional public servant, having been part of the rescue efforts at the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and when an airliner crashed at Newark Airport. Stephen was also part of a Port Authority Pipe and Drum Band.

We will always remember Stephen's heroic efforts that day, when trying to save every last person from those towers. We will never forget him, or the others who died that day. I only hope my short posting on Stephen honors his memory.

A Word About Tomorrow

2009-09-10T10:30:00.002-04:00

I have signed up our blog to be a participant in Project 2996, which invites bloggers from around the world to remember one person who died on September 11, 2001.

A Blog About Thangs has been selected to remember Stephen Huczko. I will do my best to honor his memory tomorrow.

Want To Feel Important?

2009-09-01T10:41:00.002-04:00

Want to know what Kate and I feel like most days? Want to understand the mental games the law plays with you?

Then play Supreme Decision!

"This is the defining thing of my life. It's not gonna be that hit-and-run!"

2009-08-17T11:55:00.002-04:00

With the Fall 2009 TV season right around the corner, Kate and I are promising to blog about more thangs, more frequently, since TV makes up about 75% of our posts. We made this blog to talk about thangs, and that's what we shall do!

Any suggestions on what to write about?

Maybe We Helped?

2009-07-01T08:14:00.002-04:00

I don't know the extent of the influence of "Thangs" but I'm assuming our multi-part series on Perez Hilton may have caused this:

Hilton's snarky comments, insinuating that the King of Pop was faking his ailment, was too much for Jackson fans, especially after losing him moments later. The post, which has since been deleted, caused Hilton's more than 1.8 million followers Thursday to dwindle down to 1.1 million as of Tuesday night.

It Gets Better

2009-06-25T23:34:00.002-04:00

I don't usually enjoy Gawker, but this posting can't be beat. Perez just can't help himself lately.

Pretty much reposting the entire thing here:

Today one of the biggest stars in the history of the world died. How did the internet's self-proclaimed "Queen of all Media" respond? By accusing Michael Jackson of faking the whole thing.
In the last hour Perez Hilton has taken down the photo shown here and amended his original post so he doesn't look as bad, but here's the text of what he originally posted.

We knew something like this would happen!!

Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!

Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!

His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!

We are dubious!!

Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ‘95 when he "collapsed" at rehearsal!

He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the 02 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!!

Either he's lying or making himself sick, but we're curious to see if he's able to go on!!!

Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!

After Jackson was pronounced dead, Hilton took down the photo and edited the text down to these three sentences:

Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!

The singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!

His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!

Meanwhile, the Matthew Shepard Foundation rejected Hilton's offer to donate whatever money he receives from a lawsuit against Black Eyed Peas manager Polo Molina. Here is the statement they released this afternoon:

The Matthew Shepard Foundation was surprised to learn this morning via media reports that blogger Perez Hilton (Mario Lavandeira) has announced he plans to donate, to our organization, the proceeds of a lawsuit he is contesting over an altercation which has been widely reported in recent days.

We had no advance notice or contact from Mr. Hilton or his representatives regarding this proposal, nor any communication since he posted this plan to his website.

We do not know the details of the lawsuit, whether it has been filed, the nature of his claims or the likely outcome. But because the lawsuit presumably involves the physical attack prompted by Mr. Hilton's admitted use of an anti-gay slur, the Foundation will be unable to accept any funds obtained in such a manner.

We very much appreciate the generosity of the offer to support our continuing work to memorialize Matthew through activism in defense of sexual minorities and in favor of understanding, compassion, and acceptance. But because so much of our work involves education to reduce the use of hateful language against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, or those so perceived, it would be inappropriate for us to benefit financially from circumstances in which such a verbal attack was involved.

While we applaud Mr. Hilton's apology to the LGBT community and their loved ones for his use of such a slur, we also feel compelled to point out that use of epithets can often lead to physical violence, as it appears it may have in this case, and that the Matthew Shepard Foundation has worked for more than 10 years to bring to people's attention the consequences of hateful or inolerant language.

Judy Shepard
Chair, MSF Governing Board

How much longer before Hilton's advertisers begin to flee his hideously tarnished brand?

He Knows A Good Story When He Sees One

2009-06-24T15:57:00.003-04:00

Perez continues to milk this story for everything it's worth. Now, he's suing. I guess he needs to maintain some sense of righteousness, even though most (read: 90%) of the Twitter and blog postings and celeb gossip sites I have visited have come down hard on him. Time is running out!

I'm Thinking No On This One

2009-06-23T16:28:00.003-04:00

Hey Perez, and this Newsweek lady, I'm thinking it might be a stretch comparing the Perez-Will.i.am situation to a battered/abused wife scenario. Just a bit.

Update: I also heart this guy. Best line: "Forget the rich and famous, if you are a human being, Perez Hilton makes you look bad, no MS Paint necessary."

Another Reason to Love Kelly Clarkson

2009-06-23T09:56:00.001-04:00

Part 3 in our ongoing Perez series.

An Alternative to the Worst!

2009-06-22T23:06:00.005-04:00

This has got to stop....

I encourage anyone who reads this to STOP reading Perez Hilton's website or subscribing to anything he profits from or gains publicity from.

However, I don't think anyone should be deprived of adorable pictures of Suri and Shiloh or miss out on up to the minute pictures of the casts of High School Musical and Gossip Girl. The internet is a gift, and we should be using it for all it's worth! But, let's all band together and save society from this Perez Hilton guy... he's dragging us down.

The Alternative....
People need celebrity news. And if you're not already, you should be getting yours from Just Jared.

http://justjared.buzznet.com/

I love this Jared guy. He is consistently positive and uplifting. He has all the same pictures as any other website and he offers lots more information about the pictures (not just drawing icky things on them and calling women every variation of 'slut' he can come up with... ew.).

Is Tila Right?

2009-06-22T16:10:00.005-04:00

Yes, that Tila Tequila (you know who). She has started an "unfollowPerezHilton" campaign on Twitter after Perez's recent scuffle with Will.i.am and his bodyguard. Whatever your thoughts on the whole fight are, Perez's "explanation" of the fight is nearly laughable - much like his defense of employing slurs towards others.

I'd never thought I'd see the day when I would say (let alone blog) that I agree with Ms. Tequila.

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T19:16:00.003-04:00

This one's for you, Brian.
I wish I had a picture of your killer impersonation of this Father, but this will have to do. :)

I want these.

2009-06-16T19:34:00.005-04:00

I saw these little gems through Justin Timberlake's blog. (Isn't the internet great?)

I'm not a huge fan of stationary; although, I'd say I'm a moderate fan. And I'm only a moderate fan of ironic humor on stationary. But, somehow, I think these are awesome.

With this stamp I could simultaneously tell someone "Congratulations!" and "Go to Hell!" Perfect.

And I think this one would be an excellent birthday present for Matt. (It is coming up...)

With this, after someone meets Matt and he gives them his card, they can instantly evaluate him! Again, perfect.

TGIF?

2009-06-05T19:10:00.004-04:00

I am about to have a major "Cathy" weekend. Pretty much my entire weekend is stacked with events that generally require a 'plus one.' And yet, I will be attending them solo. (Take that, Society!)

My life is one long Cathy cartoon. She is my inspiration. Ack! Sweatdrops!

Thursdays without 30 Rock....

2009-06-05T01:04:00.004-04:00

Here's something that warms my heart now that there is no hilarity beamed to my living room/heart on Thursday nights.

Apparently Tracy Morgan is filming a movie with Bruce Willis called "A Couple of Dicks." Who knows what that means (I, for one, am hoping for a buddy-detective movie, and not something semi disgusting, but I'll pay to see it either way).

On that note (Bruce Willis), I just recently saw the first 3 Die Hards... amazing! Why did it take me so long to see those?? Two thumbs, way up!

People Magazine Hates K-Hud.

2009-06-02T20:37:00.003-04:00

This is the picture that the folks over at People Magazine (and people.com) have used over and over again, anytime they reference a possible romance between A-Rod and K-Hud. Is it me, or is this the worst picture of Kate Hudson EVER? (And the best picture ever of A-Rod... I usually think he looks like an icky, guido/permanent spring breaker.) Could it be that Madonna is controlling the photo editors over at People Mag? Something is up because clearly they have something against Kate Hudson.

(Disclaimer: I realize this may not be totally blog-worthy, but I had to get it out there.)

The Way to Kate's Heart

2009-06-02T12:24:00.003-04:00

YouTube videos of young conservatives rapping.

And this one (mostly for the profile description on his YouTube Page):

Education Gap Found?

2009-05-22T12:15:00.003-04:00

Could this video for SchoolRightNow.com be why there are so many problems with our education system? Honestly. Honestly. I know it's trying to do well, but come on, leave it to guidance counselors and teachers and not pop-jazz jingles and trashy websites.

Weekend Plans Set

2009-05-21T16:43:00.003-04:00

Take your pick of TV marathons this holiday weekend.

"Mad Science . . . Dropped on the Snuggie"

2009-05-21T14:30:00.001-04:00

Witty and informative (with pop-up humor!)

New Favorite Website

2009-05-20T14:22:00.005-04:00

It's easy to report on gossip relating to celebrities, movies, music, politics and the such, but it takes a certain knack to get all the juicy TV related gossip just right. TVtattle.com is my constant source of all things TV, chuck full of show recaps, gossip, and all sorts of random YouTube clips, news items, and other links to keep you busy in the afternoon (I found that the site usually updates around 2:00-3:00pm daily, with occasional updates later that day and early in morning).

You also have to appreciate the vintage photo of Ally McBeal the site uses in its logo.

Dowd Gets Hers...again

2009-05-19T14:07:00.002-04:00

I think I like this article most about Maureen Dowd's plagiarism, surprisingly from The Atlantic magazine, which lambasts her excuse that she remembered the quote from a conversation she had with a third party.

And I like this unflattering picture of her as well:

Kate was so right.

So, someone else is obsessed with 30 Rock...

2009-05-18T20:08:00.003-04:00

Everything Tracy Jordan said this season. Everything.

Everybody Calm Down! UPDATED

2009-04-20T14:17:00.004-04:00

As a Republican, I've been called things that even Rosie O'Donnell would find inappropriate. I respect other people's opinions, and hope that they would return the favor. Which is why I despise responses such as Perez Hilton's in the current Miss USA overblown gay marriage saga.

First, Miss California's response to the question:

Perez's crazy response to that:

Announcing a position held by a majority of people in this country (or at least close to it) is divisive, but calling someone a "stupid b@tch" isn't? Oy.

Which brings me to the appropriate 30 Rock quote:

Tracy: I got to do something important so my children will respect me. Like be a Senator, or a wizard.
Dot Com: Or you can open a school in Africa like Oprah.
Tracy: Everyone calm down!

Update: Evidently, he's taking back his "apology" and would have rather used the "c-word." Mmm Mmm Classy.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

There's a Bar Crawl for Everything These Days

2009-04-08T11:05:00.003-04:00

I love bar crawls (correction: I love any group oriented social drinking activity). But it's especially fun donning a specific color, costume, or t-shirt and drinking your head off around a city.

I recently participated in the World's Largest Bar Crawl in honor of St. Patrick's day (please take a look at the many trashy pictures on this site), and while it was crowded and slightly cold, I had a blast drinking with thousands of other history seekers. The point of that bar crawl was to have at least one drink at a minimum of 10 bars and have a bartender sign off on a card they provided to you at the beginning of the crawl. We, of course, took this quite seriously. Along with four other friends, we championed ourselves to 13 different bars, surpassing the minimum, and obtaining 4 completed bar crawl cards with ten different bars listed in the process.

We felt like we were part of something special, something greater than ourselves. We were wrong. When we dropped off our completed cards the next day, this is how it went down:

Bartender: You guys here for the crawl?
Me/Matt: No, we did it yesterday. We wanted to drop off our cards.
Bartender: Oh, you guys actually did that? You made it to ten bars?
Me/Matt: I think we actually made it to like 13.
Bartender: Wow, we like usually never get any of these cards back.

I felt touched.

Maybe this is the type of bar crawl I need to be a part of. I feel like these people might appreciate community drinking in large quantities. That's the camaraderie I was looking for.

Take That, Professional TV Critics!

2009-04-07T12:29:00.003-04:00

It feels good to be right. It feels even better to blog about it. Despite their naysaying (Are we in Horseville?), 30 Rock's ratings have steadily improved this year (Jennifer Anniston's horrible episode, notwithstanding).

Here's hoping that Amy Poehler's new comedy does well - so I can stick it to the man again.

Better than a Snuggie?

2009-03-31T14:03:00.003-04:00

I'll take mine in gray, please. Comments?

Best Scene from 30 Rock All Season

2009-03-27T14:47:00.008-04:00

I literally had to stop laughing to prevent from passing out last night watching the final scene from 30 Rock. If this doesn't convince people that this is without a doubt the best show on TV, I don't know what else I can do.

And, also, the following people suck: Margaret Lyons (wasn't as funny as past episodes, really? (okay, you only sort of suck)), Kevin D. Thompson (douchey line from the get go: "You know a 30 Rock episode is in trouble when Adam West – yes, that Adam West! – is the show’s highlight."), Rohin Guha (douchey line, second paragraph: "What was once a character-driven comedy accented with witty jokes is now a shadow of its former self, running on an engine of cheap shots and caricatures.").

There are more out there. I will find you.

New York is Back!

2009-03-27T13:47:00.005-04:00

I'm not sure if Kate is on board with Tiffany Pollard, a/k/a New York, from Flavor of Love fame. Anyone who knows me understands that I adore her, and each of her six (if I counted right) reality shows for Vh1. Her most recent, New York Goes to Hollywood, was blogged about here.

Well, she's back, and couldn't have picked a better concept. Viewers get to pick a job each week that New York will try out. Amazing. The only way the concept could be better was if law school or attorney would appear as a possibility.

So This Made a Brief Comeback

2009-03-25T16:29:00.007-04:00

Remember Brittany Murphy? Sure you do. Where has she been these past few years? Not a clue.

Anyway, Monday night, Amy was introduced to a new group of people. When asked what celebrity she is often mistaken for, she said Murphy. I thought, and eventually said out loud, Amy Sedaris, which immediately drew some odd faces. Sorry, I think she's adorable, much like our own Amy.

More to the point - somehow Brittany Murphy's infamous line from "Don't Say A Word" made a brief, drunken comeback: "I'll never tell."

Cool story Jeopardy teen, I know.

But now, for your viewing pleasure (you can skip to 2:14, and ignore most of Mr. Catherine Zeta-Jones).

Update: My F-it list is coming soon!

Loving this fish!

2009-03-24T13:50:00.005-04:00

I thought this was extremely annoying at first, but now I can't seem to get enough of the talking wall fish. I remember when those things were big back in the late 90s, and I'm so glad that McDonald's decided to bring back those fond memories. Getting me to buy a Filet-o-fish, however, still not likely.

2 St Patrick's Day videos!

2009-03-17T15:36:00.004-04:00

I love both these videos...

"Who all seen the leprechaun, say yeah!!" Classic.

Also... anyone remember the movie "Leprechaun"??? Starring Jennifer Aniston? I saw that movie when I was about 10, even though I was way too young and semi scarred for life (thanks for the good parenting, Mom and Dad.). I won't put any of the movie clips up, just in case anyone else out there was similarly scarred. But here is Wayne's much more PG take on the Leprechaun's catch phrase.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

F-It List!

2009-03-11T15:46:00.013-04:00

On this blog, Brian and I have both made our own "Bucket Lists," cataloging the things we are determined to do before we die. Well, since we made those lists, America has plummeted into A Great Recession/Depression, The Bachelor pulled the D-Bag move of the century (loser), and there hasn't been an episode of Gossip Girl in like 6 weeks... what is happening in the world?

So it's time to make a different list. The F-it List! A list of the of things we just don't care about doing. I once thought I had to do these things, that they were somehow important to life. I've changed my mind. Here are some of mine...

1. Learn how to ride a horse.

2. Be a person who loves sunsets/sunrises. (I hate when people talk about either one of these things. Lame, right?! Combine this with #1.... my nightmare.)

3. Learn CPR. (Dangerous? Maybe. We'll see.)

4. Go on a mission for God. (I use to think I would do in my adult life what most high school church youth groups did. No thanks.)

5. Try hard drugs. (I saw the movie Blow in high school and thought... yes! Hopefully this change of heart will save me after God sees #4.)

6. Become knowledgeable about wines. (In fact, I am determined not to learn anything about wine/wine culture. If I ever take that trip to Napa Valley, I refuse to learn anything.)

7. See all the Oscar movies in a given year. (The only movies I saw that were nominated for any Oscars this year were The Dark Knight (three months later than the rest of the world) and Doubt (and that was not my choice, however, it totally got robbed in all categories). That being said, I don't regret any of my movie choices this year. Deal with it, Benjamin Button.)

8. Get a tattoo. (Only because I know I'll never be able to decide what to get.)

9. Be able to perform a tumbling pass. (This is both a physical impossibility and just not worth it.)

10. Support a professional sports team.

After all of those things that I don't care about doing. I want to add 1 thing to my bucket list...
1. Coach a team. (Just trying to keep this posting KIPMIF!)

Am I The Only One Who Knows This?

2009-03-03T20:29:00.006-05:00

Tonight's American Idol features Von Smith as the first singer of the final group of 12. This is the same Von Smith who tore it up (not in a good way) on The View during the Rosie O'Donnell days (remember those swell days?) when he performed "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going." (And yes, that's him on The View above. They put his name in lights. I have a doctorate. He butchered a song on national TV. Where's the justice?).

If the judges saw that performance, or the viewers, he wouldn't be on tonight's show. WTF media? Pick this story up!

Von on The View:

I'm Sure This Is Helping...

2009-02-02T16:16:00.006-05:00

Like Kate lambasted fatty Maureen Dowd for making a huge issue out of Tina Fey's former frumpiness in high school, our esteemed President has taken it one step further and denounced Jessica Simpson's recent weight struggle (or ill-advised jean purchase) when interviewed by Matt Lauer.

As if Jessica Simpson didn't have enough to worry about in the press (The Soup and The Dish did great reviews of the press coverage over the last week), now our President has to get a few laughs in at her expense? Better hope his kids don't gain the freshmen fifteen down the road. Dad will be none too pleased.

The Soup recaps:

The President disses:

LAUER: And here’s a great picture —
OBAMA: Oh, it’s beautiful.
LAUER: — of — of you and — and Michelle and — and your daughters. Now, the — the reason I bring this up I think is funny. It’s a great picture.
OBAMA: Yeah.
LAUER: But I wanna show you the cover. Look what they did. They — they took you off the cover.
OBAMA: Yeah.
LAUER: They took you out of it.
OBAMA: It — it’s — it’s a little hurtful.
LAUER: You got replaced by Jessica Simpson.
OBAMA: Yeah, who’s losing a weight battle apparently. (LAUGHTER) Yeah. Oh, well.

Things I Don't Get. Part 1 of 245786

2009-01-28T20:50:00.009-05:00

Do I complain a lot? It may seem so, but maybe there are a lot of things I just don't get in life. Here are two recent examples.

Old People Texting
What is with this? I remember when I texted my mom once (and she's no spring chicken - love you!), and about 30 seconds later I received a call from her saying "Brian, I think my phone is broken." Enough said? You would think so.

Often Matt receives texts from his mother (God love her) with odd spacing, odd capital letters in the middle of words (a la tweens on MySpace who spell their names like this AsHlEiGh (I guess it's a girl from Boulder, but I digress)) and often times just doesn't make sense which then necessitates a phone call. Frustration level = 8.5.

Gym Attire

There are two types of people I don't get here. The first is the guy (and the occasional girl, at least from my experience) who gets dressed up to go to the gym. In a single day, I saw a duo of gentlemen in fashionista Puma shoes (one pair was silver), tight-ish sweat pants (think Juicy sweatpants but for men) and long-sleeve, high thread count, high-quality workout shirts. If these fools weren't going to the gym, they'd be set for a night out on the town. Who are you trying to impress by dressing up at the gym? The hottie next to you sweating like a prostitute in church? The middle-aged women speedwalking on the treadmill? Jeesh.

The second guy wears intentionally small tank tops and workout shorts so that we all can gaze at his guns and sculpted legs. No one is impressed that you know how to use the free weights or machines. In fact, no one wants to see you grab extra free weights from another station and place them on your machine, because that catwalk across the gym is oh so cool. And please, don't try to help me out and tell me how to use the weights. I know I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but that doesn't mean I need advice from you.

Bitterness, out!

I need new neighbors . . .

2009-01-27T14:04:00.004-05:00

Kate, this one is for you! If you haven't stalked ew.com or thetvaddict.com, then you probably missed this. Get ready for February 5.

Baking, Jonn Hamm, Tina Fey, and creepy basement dwellers. Sitcom gold.

On Obama and Love

2009-01-22T20:55:00.002-05:00

It's true. Kate and I are huge fans of this country. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Whatever happens, we stick through with her thick and thin.

We recognize the significance of the inauguration. We understand the strides that this country had made in the past 60 years.

That being said, can we please get back to reality (say, after Sunday)?

(That picture was on the first result page for a Google Image search for Obama - eek?) The love fest over the man, the myth, the legend that is Obama has been nothing short of astonishing. If only President Bush (my once and future King) or Britney Spears had half the positive coverage Obama had, they would be going down in history as the reincarnation of Jefferson and Hepburn and not Nixon and . . . well, Spears.I think Ann Coulter puts it best when she said in her most recent (and just read by yours truly):

"The media really wanted to screw Obama,but only in the sense that they wanted to have sex with him."

Beyond the media, my friends have gone bonkers (and I put that lightly). I realize that I'm in love with GWB, I get that. I can't help it. But....come on! I own no buttons, just a few old bumper stickers and some free photos I get in the mail. This year, I bought two $5 magnets for McCain. That's it. I have no Facebook profile pics of him, I didn't add "Hussein" as my middle name during the campaign, I didn't take time off from work to volunteer for him. But a lot of people did. Great for them. Now can I have my TV back?

So where does this leave us? Three days in, four years to go. And a whole lot of love left to give.

P.S. I'm sure I'll have a lot more to write about on this over the next four years. You've been warned.

From two proud Americans...

2009-01-19T21:51:00.005-05:00

Brian and I LOVE the USA. It's one of the main things that binds us as life long friends/bloggers.

One of my favorite things about being an American is Martin Luther King Day. MLK is one of my favorite holidays, and MLK is one of my favorite Americans. This is a special MLK Day, because this year many people are starting to believe that Martin Luther King's dream has been fulfilled, and we finally live in a country where you are judged by the content of your character, not the color of your skin.

I also love this day because it allows me to spread my all time favorite quote all day long. Enjoy!

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

(Despite all that hope and change, I would like to formally request Brian write an op-ed on Obamapalooza.)

I'm Sorry. I Called This Months Ago

2009-01-08T18:00:00.004-05:00

Thanks to Entertainment Weekly for finally getting inside my mind. I called this Keira Knightley addiction to period dramas about three to four months ago as The Duchess was being released. I remember distinctly telling Matt how fed up I was over her decision, time and again, to play the same role in the same movie. And every time the commercial played, I repeated my frustration. Clearly the girl is a gifted actress, why not expand the playing field?

I get that she loves period pieces because she likes "the fact that you can completely dive in to a total fantasy — because it’s total escapism." How about escaping from costumes five times bigger than your body and wigs topped with baby powder (or at least that's how they did it in high school. I assume Hollywood has slightly more advanced wigs)? Get a grip/career.

Looking for a late bday gift for Brian?

2009-01-06T19:23:00.003-05:00

Brian, do you love this? Or do you LOVE this?

Two great videos.

2009-01-02T23:59:00.003-05:00

If you don't have some kind of emotional response to this, you are wrong.

This one I can't explain. I love it. Is this a good song, or is it just me?

Happy 2009!

How Much Is That Vice President in the Window?

2008-12-27T21:11:00.007-05:00

Just poking around the Internet while with the family over the holidays, and stumbled across this gem of a fact: Joe Biden can't pick out a puppy. Evidently, his teacher wife (whose reward is in heaven, remember (best link I could find - I totally loved the statement, link notwithstanding)) promised him a puppy if they won the election. I guess puppies were all the rage with the Obama/Biden campaign. Those spoiled Obama kids got one, too. But at least they are going through the trouble of picking one out on their own and from a shelter no less. Biden relied on a police officer to find the kennel and pick to the puppy. All Biden had to do was write a check. It begs the question: did he have Paris Hilton help him out?

That's not even the worst part of the story. The Bidens are having a police officer house train the damn thing. How do you expect to deal with an international crisis if you can't be bothered to pooper scoop when your puppy has an accident on the kitchen floor?

I guess Biden does have an out. The puppy is as cute as they come. And the name isn't half bad either.

Every Kiss Begins with TNA

2008-12-21T15:53:00.003-05:00

Jane Seymour's new jewelry for Kay Jewelers. You decide: Open Heart or something else?

Official Bring Kate to New York Petition

2008-12-16T16:10:00.004-05:00

Please support this worthy cause: bring Kate to New York. If nothing else, it'll give us a chance to vlog, and if you deny us that, then you are heartless.

Hopefully, this will be Kate by March:

Liz: I want to be like her!
Elderly Debutante: Oh, there is nothing like New York in the Spring!

Another woman, passing by, gives the lady a solid shove into a pile of garbage bags.

On 30 Rock and the Bronx

2008-12-12T10:05:00.003-05:00

Last nights episode was perfection, which just goes to prove, please do not cast Jennifer Aniston as a guest star on your sitcom (her episode was the only low point this season).

Anyway, I'm sure most of you picked up on the fact that Liz ventured to my neck of the woods, the Bronx. Well, at least that's what I think she did. Her "Letter to Santa" sent her to 245th Street and Lawrence Taylor Blvd. After some sleuthing this morning, I discovered that such a place does not exist.
View Larger Map

Lawrence Taylor, quite obviously, was a former New York Giants football player who had his various and frequent troubles with the law. And unless Tina Fey got Lawrence Taylor confused with Henry Hudson, which would never happen, I say that this joke was top notch.

Thus, Liz being in the Bronx makes sense, as does Tracy's reaction, since 245th Street and Former Druggie Blvd would scare anyone. (But honestly, in my four months in the borough, my experiences have been nothing but positive)

So while the intersection doesn't exist, I still felt touched that the Bronx made it into an episode. Ahh, getting closer by the day.

Only in My Christmas Themed Dreams

2008-12-09T19:15:00.001-05:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Why do I have a feeling that Kate and I have done or will do this dance in the near future?

The Ten Most Fascinating People Today. Part II

2008-12-09T11:10:00.009-05:00

I'm not trying to compete with Kate's list or posting, because it would be futile. Hers was amazing. I only try to mimic.

10. Dustin Pedoria. AL MVP 2008. Rookie of the Year 2007. He is consistently referred to as being "generously" listed at 5'9" (some claim 5'7") and 180 pounds, but the second baseman from the Red Sox managed to do more in a that short frame than most baseball players do with steroids. Props to short, determined people!

9. Beyonce. She's pulled off the Sasha Fierce alter ego thing with much more pizazz and success than Garth Brooks' Chris Gaines disaster. She has just notched her 5th #1 single. Her role as Etta James in the upcoming film Cadillac Records is getting rave reviews (including one from the New York Times' A.O. Scott, who Matt claims "can be pretty snarky at times," calling her "downright revelatory"and "volcanic and voluptuous").

8. Joe the Plumber. Come on. This guy asks one question as he's standing in front of his home, and nearly redefined the entire election. How could he not be fascinating? A down-to-earth, Joe Sixpack who's shot to fame landed some people in hot water (and soon to be prison?). I hope he stays true to his word to run for Congress in the future. It'd be nice to have some regular folks in D.C. for a change (since I can no longer hold down the fort there).

7. Jennifer Esposito/Melissa McCarthy/Becki Newton. The three scene stealers from Samantha Who? and Ugly Betty. After deciding to give Ugly Betty a shot this year (simply because waiting til 9pm to watch Thursday night TV seemed pointless), I have fallen in love with Ms. Newton's Amanda. Same goes for the two bff's from Samantha Who? who round out the perfect cast (seriously, folks at ABC, you did well). I literally turn giddy in anticipation of their appearance on screen (ok, that happens a lot when I know Kate is coming (or any Hollywood star for that matter)), but hopefully you catch my drift. Emmy's, take notice!

6. Lindsay Lohan. I started this one with my roommate from senior year, Jess. We loved her. She was sweet, and a promising and rising Hollywood star. Then, reality hit, and now she's a former (but still) drunken, bisexual (?) mess. I thought she was going to get it together with Georgia Rule (hopeless, I know. Jane Fonda as a career rescuer? Please). Her recent guest appearances on Ugly Betty were great, and reports about her new romantic comedy have been promising. Here's hoping she won't be on my list for next year.

5. The Readers of This Blog About Thangs. I can probably count them on one hand, perhaps two. You keep us going. You motivate us. You give us the will to be witty. Keep it up.

4. The troops.

3. Kristen Wiig. After the departure of Tina Fey (heck, after Molly Shannon, Cheri Oteri, and Anna Gasteyer left), SNL was pretty much DOA. Who watched it? Not this one. But this gem of a comic has me at least searching out clips on Hulu and selecting "record series" on the DVR. It seems a bit much that she's in literally every skit every week, so I hope she doesn't wear herself out since the other cast members haven't been up to par (sorry, Keenan) (and this pic is my face 50% of the day).

2. Tina Turner. She's 69. 69. If I'm half as mobile as Tina Turner when I'm that age, I'll be the luckiest guy in the world. I just signed up for my first gym membership ever, and she's on a concert tour attracting millions of fans and singing and dancing for 3 hours. I was out of breath walking the escalators to see her show on December 1 (which was freaking amazing. Almost lost my voice towards the end. I will post pictures of her during the encore, extending out over the audience (which included Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Anne Hathaway), and then she would dance up and down the narrow walkway. A-mazing), and she climbed scaffolding dressed in a full-out Mad Max costume. Enough said. 69.

1. When you write and then act out lines that include: "I once watched a blind guy eat spaghetti and laughed. I pee in the shower sometimes if I'm really tired. And I saw my grandparents making love once and didn't leave right away" there's nothing more to be said. Tina Fey, like Kate, somehow has access to my mind. And I love watching myself on screen every week.

Guess Who!?

2008-12-08T17:27:00.003-05:00

Who is this women in the (clearly home-cut make shift halter) Backstreet Boys t-shirt???

Her name at the time was Holly Cullen. (Pretty sweet name, right Twilight-crack addicts?)

Now she is my favorite Girl Next Door, Holly Madison! I've said it before, and I'll say it again, a nose job, spray tan, and a competent dye job does a body good!

Play on, players!

The Ten Most Fascinating People Today. Part I.

2008-12-05T00:28:00.011-05:00

Thursday night Barbara Walters revealed her choices for 2008's 10 Most Fascinating People... and by and large, she missed the boat. Examples: I didn't know 2 of her picks by name; Tom Cruise jumped on a couch like 3 years ago; and come on, the pregnant man is lame and sort of icky. Brian and I think we could do better. And, bonus, since there are two of us, you get the 20 (or so) Most Fascinating People To Us Today! So here are the ten (or so) people I am obsessed with and/or fascinated by right now! Part I, Let's Countdown!

10.) Britney Spears.
Let's be clear about this, I am a fan of Britney circa 2001. She lost me when she lost Justin. When Britney lost her mind, married KFed, and shaved her head... I tuned out. But now, apparently, she is back! And that creepy guy with the line-beard (gross) is court ordered to stay away. So the Britney I was originally fascinated by has returned... and by that, I mean the pretty, hot bodied, airbrushed Britney! (To be honest, I don't think this will last... but here's hoping!)

9.) Chris Brown.
I love Chris Brown. I love his songs. I LOVE his dancing. I even love his movies, because they always feature him dancing and singing. Do yourself a favor and watch this video of CB schooling some guy in a street dance battle.
Schooled.

8.) Sam Bradford: OU quarterback, Heisman frontrunner.
This is an obvious choice. But he really sealed the deal in the OSU game with this hit while diving for a touchdown. How hot is that? Plus he is the spitting image of how I imagined Jacob Black, so that makes him unbeatable... well close to unbeatable. (See #7.)

7.) Edward Cullen.
Technically, this fascinating person does not qualify for this list for 2 reasons. 1) He is fictional, and 2) he is not a person, he is a vampire. Like Amy says, Twilight/Edward Cullen is like crack. I can't get enough of it. And if you think I talk about it a lot, imagine the time I spend thinking about it/watching youtube videos about it/rereading it that I don't talk about. It's an addiction, and it's not going anywhere. (For the record, this is Edward, NOT Robert Pattinson. My policy on him is on screen only. Otherwise, he kind of ruins it.)

6.) David Sedaris.
David Sedaris has been writing best selling books for years. I found out who he was a week ago. And in that week I have found out everything there is to know about him and his family. Here's why he's fascinating: he's the kind of person that you can learn EVERY weird, private, embarrassing thing about in a week without trying very hard. I like that in a person. Plus he's really funny and insightful... at the same time, all the time. Watch this, you'll love him too.

5. Amy Sedaris.
My favorite Sedaris, but just by an inch. Because as good as David Sedaris is on Letterman, Amy's better.

4. Chuck Bass.
I'm Chuck Bass.

3. Brian's Twin.
Spotted: NYC, Tuesday night, in the same restaurant as Brian. He was even there with his blogging partner. You may remember that this twin (aka, the less good looking doppelganger of Brian's) is the reason we started this blog. And you may also remember that I friended said doppelganger on Facebook, only to be denied. (Rude.) So now that Brian has been in the same place as his twin... we are about 15902 steps closer to our ultimate goal. Meeting the twin, him realizing his huge mistake, begging for forgiveness, and then us all being friends.

2. Everyone on the internet.
Like with Brian's twin, I have many internet obsessions, countless really. People I feel like I know, and know entirely too much about. "I thank God everytime I think of the internet." -Phil 1:3. (pretty sure that's how it goes.)

1. Tina Fey.
Brian and I are unanimous on this one. We are truly obsessed with Tina Fey. We are obsessed with Tina Fey to the point that we are obsessed with people who work with her/know her/have been in the same room as her. Thankfully, Tina Fey has gone to the trouble of acting out what it would be like if either of us met her. Oprah will be playing the part of Tina Fey, and Tina Fey will be playing the part of creepers Me and Brian.

The Anti Tina Fey.

2008-12-02T21:07:00.009-05:00

Brian and I have loved Tina Fey for a while now.

We loved her before 30 Rock and Kenneth the NBC Page. We loved her before she declared 'Bitch is the New Black' (so true). And we loved her way before anyone had ever heard of that lady politician from Alaska. (And for the record, Brian and I knew it was Pail-in not Pal-in' before CNN did.)

The point is: WE LOVE TINA FEY.

Then.

Now.

Always.

(Also we have our eyes on up and coming lady/conservative politicos.)

As it turns out the world caught up to us, the trend setters, and fell deeply in love with Tina Fey. Now that Tina Fey has become America's favorite person she's all over every website, she has a new book deal, and every publication wants to do a story on her. The latest publication to feature Tina Fey as cover girl and major story is Vanity Fair, in an article by Maureen Dowd.

I was super excited, given the subject matter. I read the article and was immediately disappointed. Not because Tina Fey isn't as amazing as I imagine her... because she is exactly as amazing as I had hoped, probably moreso. No, I was disappointed because Maureen Dowd = Regina George.

Link to the article: http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/2009/01/tina_fey200901.

Read it. But don't buy the magazine. And if you see Maureen Dowd, tell her she looks fat, apparently that's her greatest fear.

The entire article focuses on Tina's weight and looks, and how if she hadn't gotten those things reeled in and acceptable, she would never have made it.

The article describes in great detail how Tina's success is tied to the fact that she lost 30 pounds and got a hair cut... and then, and only then, did people really start to notice her. Forget that by this time she was already head writer on SNL, a pretty good gig.

So the only new thing I learned from the article was that Tina Fey didn't always have shoulder length hair and once was a Weight Watcher. Dropped the ball on that one, Dowd. Just think if she had asked Tina to describe the circumstances of this photo and not just decided how unsuccessful the person in it would be.

I'm seriously considering writing Maureen Dowd/Regina George a letter to give her a piece of my mind. That'll show her!

She is the anti Tina Fey. It's not like I'm not that worried about Tina getting a Maureen Dowd induced eating disorder or anything. I would just like to point out that without her 80's short perm and love of cupcakes Tina Fey would be as shallow as Maureen Dowd... and then we would all lose.
I sort of think this is what Tina Fey has to say to Maureen Dowd.

Now who's up for cupcakes?? And the inevitable failure that will follow.

30. Rock. Get it?

2008-11-28T10:13:00.003-05:00

This was too much to pass up. While walking down a street in upstate New York, I spotted this gem at the end of a driveway. Need I say more?

A Thanksgiving in Review (Brief)

2008-11-28T09:48:00.004-05:00

Just a few short notes on the Thanksgiving I recently celebrated. For the past three years, Kate and I have attended a law student refugee, pot-luck Thanksgiving thrown by our good friend Maureen. What started off as a small celebration with a motley crew assortment of law students who didn't venture back to their respective homelands turned into (work with me) a feast befitting the original Thanksgiving meal, bringing together hoards of people who would have otherwise been microwaving their Lean Cuisines.

This year, I had the opportunity to spend the holiday in a more traditional setting. I'm not going to give a blow-by-blow recount of the evening (which was quite pleasant), but I will give you some memorable quotes:

1. Scene: playing a Thanksgiving trivia game. A question about the name of the Native American tribe that celebrated the first Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims. One of the answer choices was the Chickasaw Tribe. Soon after, this was said: "Don't you remember that song about that tribe? Went something like: La La La La Chickasaw Tribe." (The la la's were verbatim)

2. Scene: Dining table shortly before dessert. "What's the name of that cheesecake factory near Grand Central?" "Oh, um, the Cheesecake Factory?"

Those two lines pretty much sum up the day. Perfection. How was your Thanksgiving?

So... does this mean Heidi Klum is an alien too?

2008-11-25T16:40:00.003-05:00

I read a lot of celebrity gossip. Most of it is written by dudes who have crushes on Zac Efron and Chase Crawford, so we share that... or it's written by pervy, misogynistic dudes are constantly fluctuating in their love/hate for Britney Spears, so we share that. Because these are my two main sources of gossip (and news in general), I know a lot about all the hot chicks in the world. But here is a piece of information that I did not know... (brace yourself)

Victoria's Secret supermodel Karolina Kurkova, who was recently named "The Sexiest Woman Alive" by trusted news source E!, does NOT have a belly button.

In the place where she should have a belly button she has a weird indentation.

WTF? Science (read: tv) tells me that every human has a belly button. In fact, it has been my belief that all humans MUST have a belly button.... it's basically one of the key things that separates us from those species hatched from eggs. This news seriously grosses me out. Am I alone on this??

And what's weirder, I don't think Karolina Kurkova has ever explained how this happened! Five minutes on google gave me a few hypothesis; such as she had some kind of intestinal abnormality at birth and the surgery to fix it left her without a belly button. Apparently she has never commented on her own belly button, but there are cases of this happening to regular human babies, so it's possible. Ok, if that's the case, I need her to say that. Because at this point, that's only one theory. And to me, it's about exactly as likely that she is an alien and/or some kind of lizard-human hybrid.

"So you agree. You think you're really pretty."

2008-11-25T13:27:00.004-05:00

You might have noticed a few changes around here. Please forward all thanks to Kate for sprucing the place up. Now every time you log on to our little Internet world, you will be reminded of those thangs we truly love.

A Christmas Gift

2008-11-24T15:36:00.006-05:00

If you have $15 to spare this Christmas (and I know that can be asking a lot this year), please consider donating to this wonderful organization, Wreaths Across America. Every year, they seek to place a wreath on every grave of a fallen solider at Arlington National Cemetery. The program has grown in recent years. A quote from their website:

In December 2007, 286 participating locations hosted Wreaths Across America ceremonies overseeing the placement of 32,553 wreaths on the headstones of those who served and sacrificed for our freedoms. In 2008 that number will exceed 350 locations and 100,000 wreaths placed in honor!

Please consider giving to this worthy cause. The earlier the better - orders should be placed by December 1.

"Dear Zachary" See this movie.

2008-11-23T21:42:00.004-05:00

The trailer to this movie is so compelling and tragic. I've been researching this movie a little, and it is even more fascinating than the trailer lets on. I don't want to give too much away because it's a really shocking story, but the movie has led to some important debate on the state of child advocacy and how children are protected by the law.

Do yourself a favor, and see this movie. It's playing in New York and will be on MSNBC on December 7.

http://www.dearzachary.com/

Whatever happened to predictability?

2008-11-22T13:36:00.020-05:00

My good friend Amy recently told me that studies now show that watching tv can do a great deal of damage to babies. For example, she told me tv around infants younger than 2 can result in autism or other brain development disorders. Well, I am a living example of how extremely true that is.

My parents basically raised me on tv, and not the 'good for kids tv.' I'm not sure I've

ever seen an episode of Sesame Street (although I lie about it sometimes to fit in, seriously). On the other hand we have acutal home videos of my baby self watching tv with my dad. They're not that exciting... probably because my baby brain was melting.

Long story short, I am a long time fan of tv. I am a much bigger fan/connoisseur than I usual let on. But now that I know it's my parents' fault, let's just embrace it.

The first couple of shows I can remember loving when I was a little kid were The Simpsons and Full House. IMDB tells me these shows both started around the time I was four. Nice parenting, Gordy and Deb... shouldn't I have been in some child ballet class or something? (What parents deny their daughter ballet lessons?! But that's clearly a story for another blog or a therapist's office.)

At the time. I thought the Full House world was the greatest place on earth. I always related most to Stephanie because we were about the same age and suffered from severe middle child syndrome.

(Although, not to harp on the issue, Stephanie's parents put her in dance class. I'm sure we all remember the "Motown Philly" dance episode (3:30 to the end):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGE_iy-A1gQ&feature=related

and her dancing on the telethon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WtxWydIz80)

Face it, Stephanie was adorable back then. But unfortunately, recent events have led me to believe that I picked the wrong Full House character to align myself with.

As we have all learned from Perez Hilton, Tyler Durden and even the more reputable People magazine, the real life Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) has had her ups and (mostly) downs.

At press time for this blog, Jodie Sweetin is separated from her second husband with whom she has a 6 month old baby (pictured above), divorced from her police officer first husband, and most notably a recovering meth addict... not to mention a washed up child star.

Which, obviously, begs the question... whatever happened to predictability?

Kipmif, It's not all bad news for Full House world though. Bob Saget is a little pervy, but not publicly addicted to meth, so he wins that round over Stephanie. Joey Gladstone broke Alanis Morisette's heart which led to some amazing angry chick music, which I am staunchly in favor of.

But as far as role models go... Clearly I should have chosen Lori Laughlin; she still looks amazing (pictured here with Zac Efron, nothing wrong with that). Or at least the Olsen twins. And I think we can all agree that John Stamos has definitely still got it.

"Go on..." (updated)

2008-11-21T10:06:00.004-05:00

I'm not speaking for Kate (though we have shared a brain for the better part of the last 4 years), but I'm glad to see that 30 Rock didn't put me to sleep like last week's epiosde with Jennifer Aniston. Steve Martin was hilarious per usual, and the dream of a finding a soul mate who watches TV without expecting more was, well, ideal.

At the same time, it'll be nice to have an episode not based on a guest star for once. Thoughts? (This goes out to our four loyal readers)

Office was great. Toby is back!

Grey's: two comments: I hate Denny. There I said it. Two, why didn't anyone say anything to the chief that the interns were being all weird since no one was teaching them anything? That's why they started the whole thing, and the writers seemed to forget that.

And, end scene.

Update:

New scene. Favorite part of 30 Rock:

"Why Does the Building Keep Blowing Up?"

2008-11-17T16:10:00.010-05:00

This weekend was filled with sightings and reasons to blog (it also helped that my friends constantly gave me suggestions on what to blog about).

Friday. Dinner at Elmo. We spotted Ryan from Road Rules/Real World Challenge/Gauntlet/Fresh Meat fame. One of those at least. It took some awkwardness (which I am king of), but after about the 10th glaringly obvious stare, it was confirmed by comparing his picture found on an iPhone and his likeness in person as he zoomed by our table.

Next up, Ultra. Birthday Party. We (four smartly dressed men) were denied admission, save a $40 cover. Come back an hour later with the birthday boy already inside and one lady accompanying us (evidently, a guy/girl ratio of five to one is the absolute maximum allowed at NYC area clubs), we were in. Music was great, expect that every 30 seconds the song would change. Just as you're about to hit the best part of, say, a Bon Jovi classic, it would switch to the Killers. Give me a break. I'm old. I need at least two minutes of a song to actually enjoy it.

Saturday. Bond. Good, not great. We bought tickets for the 5pm showing, ended up being way oversold, and waited for the 5:40. This turned out to be quite the right decision. Soon after standing in line at the theater entrance, the group ahead of us began chatting it up. Two things. First, they were talking about movies in the abstract sense, which was cool in college but outside of the "quad" that type of conversation should be kept to a minimum. (I guess the fact that we were near NYU didn't help matters) Second. Dancing. Two of the groupies (we were more concerned with him, not her) stepped to the side into the open lobby area. He was going to teach her how to perform some sort of dancing move that should only be practiced in a ballroom with country club ladies surrounding the dance floor. He was intense. Too intense. It was weird, awkward, and slightly rude all wrapped up into one. Luckily, Matt got pictures. They're not great, but that's what undercover iPhone picture taking will do to you.

The ending scene of Bond (in a desert hotel) confused me to pieces. Things blowing up for what I thought was absolutely no reason. I leaned over and asked Matt the title to this post. It reminded me of the end to The Notebook. Evidently, a friend of mine was asked, when seeing it with a mutual friend: "Wait. Are they dead?"

OMG. It's LOLCATS: LAW!

2008-11-16T17:12:00.008-05:00

When Brian and I were studying for the bar I discovered (and mercilessly mocked) the fact that Brian has a soft spot for LOLCATS! For those of you without the same strange love for LOLCATS, it is a collection of pictures of cats in various adorable circumstances with captions of what the cat is thinking.

So today I was doing a little internet surfing, per usual, and hit the Brian motherload, LOLCATS: Studying for the Bar Edition. So, Brian, this one's for you.

Yes, this is all it takes to brighten Brian's day.

This one I kind of like... because at one time I knew what all those accronyms mean, and could recite them with ease. Now, I have almost no clue. (Only FSDPOR and WITNes are coming back to me... Thanks, Paula F.)

Congratulations are in order because Brian passed the infamous New York bar exam! And this post is my gift to him. Any LOL-ing? :)

I Have A Cool Mom

2008-11-13T07:42:00.000-05:00

Usually when your mother is a control freak, you develop social and personality problems that you would rather keep to yourself. If you're Alexis Stewart, you get a TV show and tell anyone who watches. Daughter of Martha Stewart (lucky), Alexis and her best long-named friend Jennifer Koppelman Hutt (who went to law school - which just goes to show you that there are cool lawyers somewhere in the world) ridicule old clips of the Martha Stewart Show, which include gems such as twine collections, linen closets, cupcake decorating, and hemming a pair of pants. Don't be fooled. The show gets dirty and both Alexis and Jennifer get personal. Words such as boner, boobs, douche bag, and others get thrown around. A lot. This is basically the type of show I would want in case that recurring role on 30 Rock doesn't work out.

My Bucket List, Part Deux

2008-11-12T08:38:00.005-05:00

After Kate's inspiring post concerning her bucket list (and my photoshop skills), I was inspired to write my own bucket list (and the post script request at the end of her posting helped, too).

Unlike Kate, I never kept a journal. When I think of journals for men, I think of either Doogie Howser (and I'm no Neil Patrick Harris. I'm much cooler) or Doug Funnie from Doug (you know that reference, admit it).

But as a child, I did have many goals: CEO, President, attorney. I ran the gamut. Clearly, I have accomplished one of those goals (well, save the bar exam), so perhaps it's time to reevalute things. So, in no particular order, here is my bucket list:

1.) Be elected to some public office. Because I'm so popular, I've been elected to many positions in school organizations and the such, but as Kate or anyone within a 3 mile radius of me will tell you, my passion is politics, and conservative politics at that. Thus, being elected to some board or council as a Republican is clearly a hard goal, and one I should get cracking on. (And if Kate could protest against or for me, that would be an added bonus.)

2.) Be part of a corporation. Whether it be running a conglomerate, inventing some gem of a product, or running a restaurant or bar with a bunch of friends, I think I have a unique savvy for the corporate world that has still gone untested.

3.) Go on a roller coaster. I admit it. I've never been on one. I'm deathly scared. I have a stomach that upsets so easily that as a child the tea cups was about as much as I could handle. I'm not talking about some metal, 150 MPH contraption at Six Flags. I'll start off with a wooden coaster that keeps my feet inside a car and my head right side up, thank you very much.

4.) Eat some foods I am currently afraid of. I don't venture very far off my current food path. I readily admit I am a meat and potatoes guy. I have made strides recently, but no where near where I should be. When I'm sort of envious of the women in the commercial who wants to "experiment with salad," something needs to happen. (side note: found this odd blog posting about the commercial).

5.) The dog. Like Kate, I was viciously deprived of this as a child. My brother had allergies so bad, a plastic bubble wasn't out of the question. My dad also told me several times that he would never want a dirty mutt running around the house. Fast forward 15 years: my brother and father both have dogs. It's my time.

6.) Write something. Yes, yes, I've been published in my law review (thanks), but I want to write a book, sitcom, or an hour-long drama. I have great jokes stored up in my head that would work wonderfully on the screen. Even if it never gets published or picked up by CBS, just knowing that I could would mean something.

I think that about does it now for me, too. I know I have more things to accomplish. Many more. I think it would be a good idea for both of us to update these regularly, you know, before we kick the bucket.

My Bucket List

2008-11-11T17:13:00.011-05:00

When I was 16 I made a list of things I wanted to do before I died. I wrote this list in my journal (which I still have... the other entries are a ridiculous and embarrassing glimpse into my 16 year old mind), and I titled the list "How To Live A Good Life." These were all the things I thought were important to a full and happy life. Essentially, I wrote a "bucket list" years before Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman got involved.

So here's what was on my list then...
*Get a dog
*Live abroad
*Learn to play piano
*Sing in public
*Learn to cook

That's it. That's the whole list, as written in 1999. This seems like a pretty easy life list, right? (Guess my ambitions were not so high back at the turn of the century.) Well, low ambitions or not, I have accomplished exactly NONE of my goals.

To be fair to my life so far, I can play a few simple songs on the piano and can read sheet music, I have sung at a few friends' weddings, and I know how to make a few meals (with varied degrees of success).

So, as Morgan Freeman said in another movie, I better 'get busy livin' or get busy dyin'" already! But more importantly, (more important even than living the advice of Morgan Freeman's movie characters) I think I need to revise the list to reflect my adult ambitions. Here goes.

1.) Meet and become friends with Tina Fey. (Obviously. Just meeting her would be amazing, but these are life goals, let's shoot for the stars.)

2.) Get a dog. (This one stays. My parents repeatedly ignored my pleas for a dog my entire life... time to take matters into my own hands.)

3.) Sing in public. (This one stays too, but to clarify, no church event counts. Ideally, this would be where the attendees paid to get in. And karaoke doesn't count.)
4.) March in a protest. (I don't know why... but I think this is important. To get checked off the list, the protest must be something I actually care about.)

5.) Fly an airplane. (This will be checked off if I get to hold the controls for a minute while in the air... and realistically, visiting the cockpit will do the trick, pretty much anything that would get a 3rd grader plastic wings from a flight attendant.)

6.) Cook a holiday meal for a large group of people (at least 10). (Has to be Christmas or Thanksgiving.)

I think that's it for now. I like to think Morgan Freeman would be proud. Any suggestions? Or better yet, what's on your list?

p.s. Confession: I've never seen the movie in the poster. And seeing it is not going on the list.
p.p.s. Brian, I'd like to read your list, and then probably steal it all for my life.

Treat for Brian!

2008-11-10T22:43:00.002-05:00

My friend Brian is the truest of all the conservatives in the land. Years from now, when most of us will tell our children with pride that we voted for Obama in 08, Brian will tell any and all who will listen that he was one of the few, the proud, the guy who voted for McCain/Palin, and he would do it again. This video is for him, to get him through these difficult times of Hope and Change.

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Getting Closer to Our Shared Goal

2008-11-09T09:07:00.012-05:00

It's no secret that the ultimate dream of ours is to meet Tina Fey in person. One of the main reasons I moved to New York in the first place was to get closer to realizing that dream. Kate had already plotted where 30 Rock's studio is located and several I Love Lucy-like plots to meet Tina.

Well, last night, my friends, I got us one step closer. I made my first venture to the West Side in what seemed like weeks (and for those who live on the opposite of Manhattan, it seriously is the hardest thing to do - it's also like a foreign country - not as bad as Little Chechnya, but you get the point) and made it to the Stand Up New York comedy club. It was one of those places where you had a 2 drink minimum, but I didn't mind: I was more intrigued by the menu, which said that as NYC's premier stand up club, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock (and two of three other people I guess I was supposed to know) may show up at any moment. Well, we were not disappointed. The second act of the night was none other than Judah Friedlander who plays Frank on 30 Rock. I don't remember much of his act, but he appeared to be exactly like his character on TV, goofy trucker hats and all. And best of all, the picture on his official website is exactly what he was wearing last night.

Compare the website on left, last night on right (don't worry - it's the same):

Moral of the story: Look out Liz Lemon!

NY Marathon 2009, Baby!

2008-11-08T13:03:00.007-05:00

After watching the NY Marathon literally 10 feet from my apartment, I got instantly motivated to run it next year. Yes, I have never been able to run a mile in under 20 minutes, and I am often winded after climbing a single set of stairs, but I think 12 months of preparation should be enough. I hope to stay motivated for an entire year, but I have a feeling that this might be me a few months into training:

"There's Cheese in my Rhine Wine"

2008-10-27T22:43:00.001-04:00

Picture it: Four New York socialites traveling to bumble Virginia for a fellow socialite's birthday. Fish out of water. We were in for one hell of a weekend.

We of course traveled in style: a rented Dodge Avenger from the local Alamo. A hop, skip, and an EZPass later, we crossed the line into Loudon County, Virginia.

Before we arrived at Les Doux, Hamilton, VA (the birthday girl's house) - also a Hills reference for those of you who missed it (but it doesn't mean the birthday girl is like Heidi, because that's just mean) we needed an appropriate accompaniment. A stop at the local Safeway provided much needed comic and alcoholic relief. Upon arriving at the wine section, conveniently located to left of the front door, we came across a sea of white cardboard boxes: Franzia and Almaden appeared as a supermarket oasis. A few minutes of reading the various selections of red, white, and other, we settled on Almanden's Mountain Rhine Wine, 12% alcohol by volume. Fit for a king.

We arrived on scene, only 45 fashionable minutes late. After some slightly awkward introductions, we settled in for some silent college football, and a discussion about debris in my cup. We also Cha-Cha'd to confirm where the name Rhine Wine came from, since Almaden is made in the U.S. of A, and not, contrary to popular belief, Germany. We found out, but I won't bore you. Thrills.

Finally, at some point, someone mentioned the 800 pound gorilla in the room: the computerized Catch Phrase game. I, of course, rocked (it's a cross I bare). After the ice breaker, things really warmed up. We played a Jeopardy drinking game and made fun of the floozy returning champion, Larissa Kelly.

(Side note: this was confirmed by Alex Trebek. On the "interview" portion of the show, Alex mentioned something about her lame mock trial experience in high school, to which Alex inquired: did you get them (the fake criminals) off every time? She said, most of the time. He said: "Well, you're getting some off now." Confirmation! And awk!).

The party continued with the requisite beer pong, flip cup, cupcake eating, fun with bottle opening and body parts (picture soon).

All in all, we had fun, made new friends (people like me, it's another cross I bare), and renewed our love of all things suburban and boxed.

"Yeah, I have a question... how dare you?"

2008-10-24T16:31:00.008-04:00

I think it is time that I explain the inception of this blog (about thangs).

While my dear friend Brian and I were studying for the New York (him) and the Virginia (me) bar exams (which I totally passed btw), we would do ANYTHING to avoid studying. One day in my free time I was googling "So You Think You Can Dance," something I do at an embarrassing frequency, not only when I want to avoid studying. Well, that day, the stars and google collided because I stumbled upon a blog (but really it was a vlog) that recapped SYTYCD. And one of the vloggers was Bizzaro Brian. He could be his twin brother.

Don't believe me? See twin vlogging here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEyaSMtK4vU&eurl=http://ablogaboutthings.com/search/label/SYTYCD

Brian on the left. "Brian's twin" on the right. No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you.... it's TWO people.

So now that we agree that they are twins.... moving on.

Not to be outdone, Actual Brian (not Bizarro Brian) and I decided to start a blog of our own to catalog our lives and the fun things we spot along the way.

Brian's twin (we'll call him "Pat," because that is his name) has a blog called, adorably, http://ablogaboutthings.com/. So, in a stroke of genius, Brian unveiled our blog, an even more adorable, ablogaboutthangs!

And the blog was born!

The story clearly does not end there. Which leads me to the title of this installment. "Yeah, I have a question... how dare you?"

So Pat lives in NYC, where Brian recently moved. How perfect, right?! 2 twins, 1 city of dreams... doesn't get much better. Since the move I have become obsessed with the two of them meeting and then by extension us all becoming awesome friends.

Well, the first step to any awesome friendship is internet friendship. So, in an attempt at just that, I facebooked Pat "Brian's twin." Before you call me a creepy internet stalker, he was extremely easy to find. It was as if he (and fate) wanted me to find him. So click-click-beep-beep, Pat had a friend request from me. I assumed within the hour we would be well on our way to actual friendship, or at the very least I would have a list of his favorite movies and be able to see what he did this weekend in the city because what if we were in the same neighborhood and didn't even know it?
Well, Brian's twin had other plans for us. Brace yourself blogging world (or, Matt, the one person who reads this blog). He DENIED my friendship. Such a burn.

I hardly know who I am anymore... or the purpose of this blog. It's the worst. To be denied internet friendship is such an insult. Because all it takes to be internet friends it clicking accept and then the duties of friendship officially end. And the perks are unlimited stalking. It's win-win. Well apparently my FB internet personality was just not enough. (Which is absurd... seriously, go check it out.)

Good thing this isn't my first time at the rodeo. A few minutes after I got over the shock of the friendship denial I moved on. If I can't have a new internet friendship, I'll do the next best thing, create a fake internet personality in his network and just stalk away.

I guess all's well that ends well... as long as Brian's twin never sees this post and gets a (reasonable but nonetheless hurtful) restraining order. How dare you?

How old do I look? Really.

2008-08-07T15:17:00.008-04:00

"I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!"

So while attending the Jenny Youngs/Aaron Fleck wedding extravaganza last weekend I broke one of my cardinal rules of weddings... I danced with a child. (NB: I don't have anything against children. In fact, I love children--they are the future. But they don't belong at weddings. Don't belong in them awkwardly throwing rose petals. Don't belong at the reception dominating the dance floor, which, in my opinion, should be reserved for adults dancing to "Shout" and drinking/spilling wine.)

So there I am dancing with a cute as can be 5 year old, and this 25 year old guy (the brother of a girl I went to college with) looks at me and the boy and says, "Is this your son?" What the heck? Either I look like the kind of girl who got knocked up at age 20 (and this is all kinds of bad, because I did not think I was dressed like a 'mom,' even a young/cool mom, and especially not a Jamie Lynn Spears style mom) or he thought I was older than my (and his) 25 years. I was beyond offended.

On the other hand, I went to see Pineapple Express with my friend Kelly yesterday. (It is hilarious. See it, and wait for the line "Where should we go?! A hotel? Motel? Holiday Inn?" During the previews Kelly and I had a heated debate over who deserves/should get James Franco--she won. Congratulations, Kelly. If we ever meet James Franco, you've got dibs.)

Pineapple Express is rated R, which means you have to be 17 to see the movie. Rest assure that the AMC 24 in Edmond, Oklahoma is strictly enforcing this standard. Because when I went up to the ticket counter and asked for a ticket to Pineapple Express, the young man taking tickets, who I thought looked about 17, asked me for an ID. What? So I asked him, "What kind of ID?" As in, I don't have a student ID or a movie watchers card. The youngster taking tickets wanted to see, "Ya know, like a driver's license will be fine." Take that guy who asked me if I had a 5 year old kid.

Why Am I Just Learning About This?

2008-08-06T20:14:00.002-04:00

Ah, the things you learn while watching (sort of) So You Think You Can Dance.

Niecy Nash is getting her own sitcom? With Jerry O'Connell? Well, ignore the latter. Niecy is hilarious on RENO 911! and on Clean House, which of recent, has played non-stop on the Style Network. Here's hoping this Fox series isn't crap.

This describes my summer perfectly.

2008-08-06T00:55:00.002-04:00

There was a lot of unhealthy eating and musical theater singing... trust me, it's a dangerous combination.

Jessie Spano Beware

2008-08-05T17:29:00.001-04:00

Starbucks is going to let morning customers come back after 2p.m. and get an iced beverage for $2.

You know what this means. We need to watch out for Jessie Spano.

New York Goes to Hollywood: Premiere

2008-08-05T16:39:00.003-04:00

VH1 has done it again. New York Goes to Hollywood premiered last night, and it was everything I could have wished for. New York. An Assistant. Her attempts at acting. The trifecta of perfection for the premiere episode.

We meet up with New York, and she tells us that VH1 has given her 30 days in a swanky Hollywood home to land a role. She moves in, and hires a sassy, go-get-em assistant Lizza. Lizza sets her up with a manager showcase and has someone cut a video of New York's recent roles and history (including the infamous spit scene in Flavor of Love).

At the manager showcase, where the video was played, and New York actually does a monologue, and her attempt at acting was . . . dare I say, decent? I thought it was going to be a train wreck, the word which has defined the celebrities and contestants on VH1, no exceptions. But it looked like New York actually practiced and really did try at this gig. A few other scenes looked scripted and put together to manufacture some rants on behalf of New York, but all in all, a fantastic first episode.

The preview for the rest of the season looks equally amazing. We see the return of her equally over-the-top mother, her still fiance (or not?) Tailor Made (who knew they would last this long), acting classes, and a new love interest?

I'll recap each episode here. Or at least try to.

A Bar Review

2008-08-05T10:36:00.004-04:00

New York City: Day 1

So this was it. The first of two days of the New York State Bar Exam. I stayed at a jazzy new Holiday Inn (not joking, it was small, but swank. It opened like a month before I stayed there. I highly recommend spending the extra money on a nice, clean, quiet hotel. Friends who stayed at the Hotel Pennsylvania complained about all three of those things. Not the way to feel just before the most important two days of your life.) about 10-12 blocks away from the Jacob Javits Convention Center. I cabbed it over with a friend who was also staying in the hotel, and arrived to what looked like an academic refuge camp. Thousands of people waiting inside and outside of the building.

This was the New York testing day, which meant we were allowed to bring in our laptops, and our one gallon clear plastic bag filled with "non-loud snacks," "feminine products," and "drinks in a juicebox or plastic container." And special this year: they allowed us to bring in peanut products!

We stood around for about an hour before the let us in and down the short escalator into what seemed like an enormous concrete palace. The picture posted a few days ago, which I totally thought was either made up or from another state, is actually exactly what the bar exam at the Javits Center looks like. Creepy. We got green wristbands that we couldn't take off for two days. It was our ticket in (and out) of this misery.

Over 6000 people were taking their exam at the Javits center. I was in the first row. I found my seat, and my table partner was already there: a nice kid from New England, who liked to talk Red Sox. Things were going well. Powered up the laptop, and brought up the exam software. So far, so good.

The proctor came around to sign us in. All of the proctors, to my surprise, were really nice and relaxed. I was surprised, because I'm not sure I would be that cool knowing that I would have to deal with 6000 type-A personalities taking an exam that determines their future. But I digress.

The nerves hit some, but then the announcer came on the jumbo speakers located throughout the convention center. Either he's a loud talker, or didn't know the volume of the speakers, but this man shouted for no less than 30 minutes. I mean, he probably heard himself talking so loud, but never changed the pitch or volume of his voice. (I was going for the Will Ferrel/Jacob Silj reference there) People put their earplugs in early, or plugged their ears with their fingers while he read over how to assemble our testing materials. I got a headache about 4 minutes in. Great. Perfect way to start this thing.

Then we started. The test was as expected. 5 essays, 50 New York State specific multiple choice questions, and the MPT (please, stop making us do this. It's pointless). I won't go into details about the questions asked, but it's safe to say they hit on topics not often tested, but it was fair. There was one or two questions where most of us felt that we made up a rule of law and applied it. BarBri taught us how to do that, so I felt fine doing it on the real thing.

Then it was over at about 4:45. We were beat. It was hot out, but I decided to walk the 10-12 blocks home. I destressed, and got a little sweaty. Took a shower immediately, and used the delicious mint soap provided by the hotel. Met up with friends for dinner and pigged out. The back to the room to prepare for day two: the MBE.

Mini Update

2008-07-29T21:32:00.002-04:00

Kate is in Roanoke, and I'm in New York, and we both just finished the state specific portions. Phew. It was doable, though sometimes it seemed that both the bar examiners and the bar takers were making up the law. However bad it was for us, it was nothing compared to the CA bar takers, who had to endure an earthquake. No joke. A friend said they were given an extra three minutes. Sweet.

We're both going to blog about our respective experiences. Hopefully someone Googling about the bar next year will stumble onto our humble blog.

On Hiatus

2008-07-28T09:49:00.001-04:00

Here it comes. Over two months preparation for a two (or three) day event nationwide. Good luck all. We'll see you soon.

Post-Bobby Whitney

2008-07-27T23:11:00.003-04:00

We at ABAT (yes, we're cool enough to call ourselves by an acronym now) love Whitney. This single was just leaked online. Is post-Bobby Whitney as good as pre-Bobby Whitney? We'll soon find out.

Look Out Ladies!

2008-07-27T21:05:00.002-04:00

This is so true.

A View of the Future (and it's sad)

2008-07-27T20:39:00.003-04:00

This is an actual picture of law students taking the bar exam. Thrilling.

At least the exam proctors look nice.

It's almost Sunday

2008-07-26T23:03:00.000-04:00

This means a lot of things:

1. We're almost done studying for the bar. Monday is reserved for travel, anxiety, and sleep.
2. I Love Money is on at 9 on VH1. It's like Real World/Road Rule Challenges, but for the neglected step children of VH1 (a/k/a it rules, and you need to be watching).
3. The last of the 12 part series on Chandra Levy is in the Post. Read it. Be amazed, stunned, and disturbed by all parties involved.

Bar Exam Soundtrack

2008-07-26T16:57:00.000-04:00

Back in first year of law school, I developed a series of very popular CDs entitled "NOW That's What I Call Law School." They were party favorites, trust me.

If there was an edition for the bar exam summer, these would be included, per Kate and me:

1. Have a Heart - Bonnie Raitt
2. Omigod - Legally Blonde The Musical
3. Last Name - Carrie Underwood
4. You're Still the One - Shania Twain
5. something by Chris Brown

More to come.

The Secret of Life...

2008-07-25T22:33:00.000-04:00

There is so much I like about this lecture. Watch it. It'll change your life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

And then this happened....

2008-07-25T22:14:00.001-04:00

Kate and Brian: Private Eyes

2008-07-25T21:42:00.000-04:00

We are enthralled with the Chandra Levy series in the Washington Post. If you haven't read it yet, check it out. Kate and I discuss every morning our theories of the case, and usually wind up a step closer than the actual investagors (yes, we're that good). If only this was covered on the bar exam. If only.

Appropriate

2008-07-24T23:20:00.000-04:00

I've received this e-card twice, yes twice, in the past 24 hours. Thanks, friends.

Five Days

2008-07-24T20:33:00.001-04:00

Only five days until the bar. Clearly time to blog . . . about thangs.

She Started Last Night

2008-07-24T20:24:00.001-04:00

Wednesday night was the first night on stage for the winner of Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search for the Next Elle Woods. Kate hope she does poorly. I hope she does fine. We both think the supporting cast hates her.

And does she look like Carrie Underwood to anyone?

So Not Funny

2008-07-22T00:24:00.000-04:00

Congrats to the winner of Legally Blonde The Musical. Kate thinks she's a phony; I think she's cute.

And Barbri - stop trying to be funny. Today, this is what I had to endure (click to enlarge):

"Boobie University Medical School."

Really? Best you can do? Think you're hilarious? Newsflash: all the jobs writing for 30 Rock have been filled. Stop wishing.

A Glimpse at Bar Exam Life

2008-07-20T19:27:00.000-04:00

No one really knows what the bar exam is, what it tests, or why it's required to become a lawyer, but this site pretty much sums up the anger that every law student feels at one point or another. It's especially true when bar examiners think they're extra witty, when in actuality, they're killing lives...and humor for 3 months.

So this posting is dedicated to Defaultina, who most likely will cause some poor soul to fail the bar. What a betch.

Blogging...about thangs

2008-07-20T19:13:00.000-04:00

This is a blog about....thangs. We are two 20-somethings, who just finished three years of bliss (read: hell) of law school, and are about a week away from taking our respective bar exams. We want to make it obvious to the world that this is the opposite of what we should be doing right now.

We're hilarious people (read: extremely hilarious), and love all things pop culture, politics, news worthy, and yes, maybe some law (not really). We'll blog about what is going on, as we embark on our post law school lives, one of us in NYC, the other in DC.