F-It List!

On this blog, Brian and I have both made our own "Bucket Lists," cataloging the things we are determined to do before we die. Well, since we made those lists, America has plummeted into A Great Recession/Depression, The Bachelor pulled the D-Bag move of the century (loser), and there hasn't been an episode of Gossip Girl in like 6 weeks... what is happening in the world?

So it's time to make a different list. The F-it List! A list of the of things we just don't care about doing. I once thought I had to do these things, that they were somehow important to life. I've changed my mind. Here are some of mine...


1. Learn how to ride a horse.



2. Be a person who loves sunsets/sunrises. (I hate when people talk about either one of these things. Lame, right?! Combine this with #1.... my nightmare.)



3. Learn CPR. (Dangerous? Maybe. We'll see.)










4. Go on a mission for God. (I use to think I would do in my adult life what most high school church youth groups did. No thanks.)




5. Try hard drugs. (I saw the movie Blow in high school and thought... yes! Hopefully this change of heart will save me after God sees #4.)












6. Become knowledgeable about wines. (In fact, I am determined not to learn anything about wine/wine culture. If I ever take that trip to Napa Valley, I refuse to learn anything.)

7. See all the Oscar movies in a given year. (The only movies I saw that were nominated for any Oscars this year were The Dark Knight (three months later than the rest of the world) and Doubt (and that was not my choice, however, it totally got robbed in all categories). That being said, I don't regret any of my movie choices this year. Deal with it, Benjamin Button.)




8. Get a tattoo. (Only because I know I'll never be able to decide what to get.)












9. Be able to perform a tumbling pass. (This is both a physical impossibility and just not worth it.)

10. Support a professional sports team.









After all of those things that I don't care about doing. I want to add 1 thing to my bucket list...
1. Coach a team. (Just trying to keep this posting KIPMIF!)

Am I The Only One Who Knows This?

Tonight's American Idol features Von Smith as the first singer of the final group of 12. This is the same Von Smith who tore it up (not in a good way) on The View during the Rosie O'Donnell days (remember those swell days?) when he performed "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going." (And yes, that's him on The View above. They put his name in lights. I have a doctorate. He butchered a song on national TV. Where's the justice?).

If the judges saw that performance, or the viewers, he wouldn't be on tonight's show. WTF media? Pick this story up!

Von on The View:

I'm Sure This Is Helping...

Like Kate lambasted fatty Maureen Dowd for making a huge issue out of Tina Fey's former frumpiness in high school, our esteemed President has taken it one step further and denounced Jessica Simpson's recent weight struggle (or ill-advised jean purchase) when interviewed by Matt Lauer.

As if Jessica Simpson didn't have enough to worry about in the press (The Soup and The Dish did great reviews of the press coverage over the last week), now our President has to get a few laughs in at her expense? Better hope his kids don't gain the freshmen fifteen down the road. Dad will be none too pleased.

The Soup recaps:

The President disses:

LAUER: And here’s a great picture —
OBAMA: Oh, it’s beautiful.
LAUER: — of — of you and — and Michelle and — and your daughters. Now, the — the reason I bring this up I think is funny. It’s a great picture.
OBAMA: Yeah.
LAUER: But I wanna show you the cover. Look what they did. They — they took you off the cover.
OBAMA: Yeah.
LAUER: They took you out of it.
OBAMA: It — it’s — it’s a little hurtful.
LAUER: You got replaced by Jessica Simpson.
OBAMA: Yeah, who’s losing a weight battle apparently. (LAUGHTER) Yeah. Oh, well.

Things I Don't Get. Part 1 of 245786

Do I complain a lot? It may seem so, but maybe there are a lot of things I just don't get in life. Here are two recent examples.

Old People Texting
What is with this? I remember when I texted my mom once (and she's no spring chicken - love you!), and about 30 seconds later I received a call from her saying "Brian, I think my phone is broken." Enough said? You would think so.

Often Matt receives texts from his mother (God love her) with odd spacing, odd capital letters in the middle of words (a la tweens on MySpace who spell their names like this AsHlEiGh (I guess it's a girl from Boulder, but I digress)) and often times just doesn't make sense which then necessitates a phone call. Frustration level = 8.5.

Gym Attire

There are two types of people I don't get here. The first is the guy (and the occasional girl, at least from my experience) who gets dressed up to go to the gym. In a single day, I saw a duo of gentlemen in fashionista Puma shoes (one pair was silver), tight-ish sweat pants (think Juicy sweatpants but for men) and long-sleeve, high thread count, high-quality workout shirts. If these fools weren't going to the gym, they'd be set for a night out on the town. Who are you trying to impress by dressing up at the gym? The hottie next to you sweating like a prostitute in church? The middle-aged women speedwalking on the treadmill? Jeesh.



The second guy wears intentionally small tank tops and workout shorts so that we all can gaze at his guns and sculpted legs. No one is impressed that you know how to use the free weights or machines. In fact, no one wants to see you grab extra free weights from another station and place them on your machine, because that catwalk across the gym is oh so cool. And please, don't try to help me out and tell me how to use the weights. I know I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but that doesn't mean I need advice from you.

Bitterness, out!

I need new neighbors . . .

Kate, this one is for you! If you haven't stalked ew.com or thetvaddict.com, then you probably missed this. Get ready for February 5.

Baking, Jonn Hamm, Tina Fey, and creepy basement dwellers. Sitcom gold.

On Obama and Love

It's true. Kate and I are huge fans of this country. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Whatever happens, we stick through with her thick and thin.

We recognize the significance of the inauguration. We understand the strides that this country had made in the past 60 years.

That being said, can we please get back to reality (say, after Sunday)?


(That picture was on the first result page for a Google Image search for Obama - eek?) The love fest over the man, the myth, the legend that is Obama has been nothing short of astonishing. If only President Bush (my once and future King) or Britney Spears had half the positive coverage Obama had, they would be going down in history as the reincarnation of Jefferson and Hepburn and not Nixon and . . . well, Spears.I think Ann Coulter puts it best when she said in her most recent (and just read by yours truly):

"The media really wanted to screw Obama,but only in the sense that they wanted to have sex with him."

Beyond the media, my friends have gone bonkers (and I put that lightly). I realize that I'm in love with GWB, I get that. I can't help it. But....come on! I own no buttons, just a few old bumper stickers and some free photos I get in the mail. This year, I bought two $5 magnets for McCain. That's it. I have no Facebook profile pics of him, I didn't add "Hussein" as my middle name during the campaign, I didn't take time off from work to volunteer for him. But a lot of people did. Great for them. Now can I have my TV back?

So where does this leave us? Three days in, four years to go. And a whole lot of love left to give.

P.S. I'm sure I'll have a lot more to write about on this over the next four years. You've been warned.

From two proud Americans...

Brian and I LOVE the USA. It's one of the main things that binds us as life long friends/bloggers.

One of my favorite things about being an American is Martin Luther King Day. MLK is one of my favorite holidays, and MLK is one of my favorite Americans. This is a special MLK Day, because this year many people are starting to believe that Martin Luther King's dream has been fulfilled, and we finally live in a country where you are judged by the content of your character, not the color of your skin.

I also love this day because it allows me to spread my all time favorite quote all day long. Enjoy!

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." -Martin Luther King, Jr.


(Despite all that hope and change, I would like to formally request Brian write an op-ed on Obamapalooza.)