"There's Cheese in my Rhine Wine"

Picture it: Four New York socialites traveling to bumble Virginia for a fellow socialite's birthday. Fish out of water. We were in for one hell of a weekend.

We of course traveled in style: a rented Dodge Avenger from the local Alamo. A hop, skip, and an EZPass later, we crossed the line into Loudon County, Virginia.

Before we arrived at Les Doux, Hamilton, VA (the birthday girl's house) - also a Hills reference for those of you who missed it (but it doesn't mean the birthday girl is like Heidi, because that's just mean) we needed an appropriate accompaniment. A stop at the local Safeway provided much needed comic and alcoholic relief. Upon arriving at the wine section, conveniently located to left of the front door, we came across a sea of white cardboard boxes: Franzia and Almaden appeared as a supermarket oasis. A few minutes of reading the various selections of red, white, and other, we settled on Almanden's Mountain Rhine Wine, 12% alcohol by volume. Fit for a king.

We arrived on scene, only 45 fashionable minutes late. After some slightly awkward introductions, we settled in for some silent college football, and a discussion about debris in my cup. We also Cha-Cha'd to confirm where the name Rhine Wine came from, since Almaden is made in the U.S. of A, and not, contrary to popular belief, Germany. We found out, but I won't bore you. Thrills.

Finally, at some point, someone mentioned the 800 pound gorilla in the room: the computerized Catch Phrase game. I, of course, rocked (it's a cross I bare). After the ice breaker, things really warmed up. We played a Jeopardy drinking game and made fun of the floozy returning champion, Larissa Kelly.


(Side note: this was confirmed by Alex Trebek. On the "interview" portion of the show, Alex mentioned something about her lame mock trial experience in high school, to which Alex inquired: did you get them (the fake criminals) off every time? She said, most of the time. He said: "Well, you're getting some off now." Confirmation! And awk!).

The party continued with the requisite beer pong, flip cup, cupcake eating, fun with bottle opening and body parts (picture soon).

All in all, we had fun, made new friends (people like me, it's another cross I bare), and renewed our love of all things suburban and boxed.