30. Rock. Get it?

This was too much to pass up. While walking down a street in upstate New York, I spotted this gem at the end of a driveway. Need I say more?

A Thanksgiving in Review (Brief)

Just a few short notes on the Thanksgiving I recently celebrated. For the past three years, Kate and I have attended a law student refugee, pot-luck Thanksgiving thrown by our good friend Maureen. What started off as a small celebration with a motley crew assortment of law students who didn't venture back to their respective homelands turned into (work with me) a feast befitting the original Thanksgiving meal, bringing together hoards of people who would have otherwise been microwaving their Lean Cuisines.

This year, I had the opportunity to spend the holiday in a more traditional setting. I'm not going to give a blow-by-blow recount of the evening (which was quite pleasant), but I will give you some memorable quotes:

1. Scene: playing a Thanksgiving trivia game. A question about the name of the Native American tribe that celebrated the first Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims. One of the answer choices was the Chickasaw Tribe. Soon after, this was said: "Don't you remember that song about that tribe? Went something like: La La La La Chickasaw Tribe." (The la la's were verbatim)

2. Scene: Dining table shortly before dessert. "What's the name of that cheesecake factory near Grand Central?" "Oh, um, the Cheesecake Factory?"

Those two lines pretty much sum up the day. Perfection. How was your Thanksgiving?

So... does this mean Heidi Klum is an alien too?

I read a lot of celebrity gossip. Most of it is written by dudes who have crushes on Zac Efron and Chase Crawford, so we share that... or it's written by pervy, misogynistic dudes are constantly fluctuating in their love/hate for Britney Spears, so we share that. Because these are my two main sources of gossip (and news in general), I know a lot about all the hot chicks in the world. But here is a piece of information that I did not know... (brace yourself)

Victoria's Secret supermodel Karolina Kurkova, who was recently named "The Sexiest Woman Alive" by trusted news source E!, does NOT have a belly button.

In the place where she should have a belly button she has a weird indentation.

WTF? Science (read: tv) tells me that every human has a belly button. In fact, it has been my belief that all humans MUST have a belly button.... it's basically one of the key things that separates us from those species hatched from eggs. This news seriously grosses me out. Am I alone on this??

And what's weirder, I don't think Karolina Kurkova has ever explained how this happened! Five minutes on google gave me a few hypothesis; such as she had some kind of intestinal abnormality at birth and the surgery to fix it left her without a belly button. Apparently she has never commented on her own belly button, but there are cases of this happening to regular human babies, so it's possible. Ok, if that's the case, I need her to say that. Because at this point, that's only one theory. And to me, it's about exactly as likely that she is an alien and/or some kind of lizard-human hybrid.

"So you agree. You think you're really pretty."

You might have noticed a few changes around here. Please forward all thanks to Kate for sprucing the place up. Now every time you log on to our little Internet world, you will be reminded of those thangs we truly love.

A Christmas Gift

If you have $15 to spare this Christmas (and I know that can be asking a lot this year), please consider donating to this wonderful organization, Wreaths Across America. Every year, they seek to place a wreath on every grave of a fallen solider at Arlington National Cemetery. The program has grown in recent years. A quote from their website:

In December 2007, 286 participating locations hosted Wreaths Across America ceremonies overseeing the placement of 32,553 wreaths on the headstones of those who served and sacrificed for our freedoms. In 2008 that number will exceed 350 locations and 100,000 wreaths placed in honor!

Please consider giving to this worthy cause. The earlier the better - orders should be placed by December 1.

"Dear Zachary" See this movie.

The trailer to this movie is so compelling and tragic. I've been researching this movie a little, and it is even more fascinating than the trailer lets on. I don't want to give too much away because it's a really shocking story, but the movie has led to some important debate on the state of child advocacy and how children are protected by the law.

Do yourself a favor, and see this movie. It's playing in New York and will be on MSNBC on December 7.

http://www.dearzachary.com/

Whatever happened to predictability?

My good friend Amy recently told me that studies now show that watching tv can do a great deal of damage to babies. For example, she told me tv around infants younger than 2 can result in autism or other brain development disorders. Well, I am a living example of how extremely true that is.

My parents basically raised me on tv, and not the 'good for kids tv.' I'm not sure I've

ever seen an episode of Sesame Street (although I lie about it sometimes to fit in, seriously). On the other hand we have acutal home videos of my baby self watching tv with my dad. They're not that exciting... probably because my baby brain was melting.

Long story short, I am a long time fan of tv. I am a much bigger fan/connoisseur than I usual let on. But now that I know it's my parents' fault, let's just embrace it.

The first couple of shows I can remember loving when I was a little kid were The Simpsons and Full House. IMDB tells me these shows both started around the time I was four. Nice parenting, Gordy and Deb... shouldn't I have been in some child ballet class or something? (What parents deny their daughter ballet lessons?! But that's clearly a story for another blog or a therapist's office.)

At the time. I thought the Full House world was the greatest place on earth. I always related most to Stephanie because we were about the same age and suffered from severe middle child syndrome.

(Although, not to harp on the issue, Stephanie's parents put her in dance class. I'm sure we all remember the "Motown Philly" dance episode (3:30 to the end):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGE_iy-A1gQ&feature=related

and her dancing on the telethon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WtxWydIz80)

Face it, Stephanie was adorable back then. But unfortunately, recent events have led me to believe that I picked the wrong Full House character to align myself with.

As we have all learned from Perez Hilton, Tyler Durden and even the more reputable People magazine, the real life Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) has had her ups and (mostly) downs.

At press time for this blog, Jodie Sweetin is separated from her second husband with whom she has a 6 month old baby (pictured above), divorced from her police officer first husband, and most notably a recovering meth addict... not to mention a washed up child star.

Which, obviously, begs the question... whatever happened to predictability?

Kipmif, It's not all bad news for Full House world though. Bob Saget is a little pervy, but not publicly addicted to meth, so he wins that round over Stephanie. Joey Gladstone broke Alanis Morisette's heart which led to some amazing angry chick music, which I am staunchly in favor of.

But as far as role models go... Clearly I should have chosen Lori Laughlin; she still looks amazing (pictured here with Zac Efron, nothing wrong with that). Or at least the Olsen twins. And I think we can all agree that John Stamos has definitely still got it.

"Go on..." (updated)

I'm not speaking for Kate (though we have shared a brain for the better part of the last 4 years), but I'm glad to see that 30 Rock didn't put me to sleep like last week's epiosde with Jennifer Aniston. Steve Martin was hilarious per usual, and the dream of a finding a soul mate who watches TV without expecting more was, well, ideal.


At the same time, it'll be nice to have an episode not based on a guest star for once. Thoughts? (This goes out to our four loyal readers)

Office was great. Toby is back!

Grey's: two comments: I hate Denny. There I said it. Two, why didn't anyone say anything to the chief that the interns were being all weird since no one was teaching them anything? That's why they started the whole thing, and the writers seemed to forget that.

And, end scene.

Update:

New scene. Favorite part of 30 Rock:

"Why Does the Building Keep Blowing Up?"

This weekend was filled with sightings and reasons to blog (it also helped that my friends constantly gave me suggestions on what to blog about).

Friday. Dinner at Elmo. We spotted Ryan from Road Rules/Real World Challenge/Gauntlet/Fresh Meat fame. One of those at least. It took some awkwardness (which I am king of), but after about the 10th glaringly obvious stare, it was confirmed by comparing his picture found on an iPhone and his likeness in person as he zoomed by our table.

Next up, Ultra. Birthday Party. We (four smartly dressed men) were denied admission, save a $40 cover. Come back an hour later with the birthday boy already inside and one lady accompanying us (evidently, a guy/girl ratio of five to one is the absolute maximum allowed at NYC area clubs), we were in. Music was great, expect that every 30 seconds the song would change. Just as you're about to hit the best part of, say, a Bon Jovi classic, it would switch to the Killers. Give me a break. I'm old. I need at least two minutes of a song to actually enjoy it.

Saturday. Bond. Good, not great. We bought tickets for the 5pm showing, ended up being way oversold, and waited for the 5:40. This turned out to be quite the right decision. Soon after standing in line at the theater entrance, the group ahead of us began chatting it up. Two things. First, they were talking about movies in the abstract sense, which was cool in college but outside of the "quad" that type of conversation should be kept to a minimum. (I guess the fact that we were near NYU didn't help matters) Second. Dancing. Two of the groupies (we were more concerned with him, not her) stepped to the side into the open lobby area. He was going to teach her how to perform some sort of dancing move that should only be practiced in a ballroom with country club ladies surrounding the dance floor. He was intense. Too intense. It was weird, awkward, and slightly rude all wrapped up into one. Luckily, Matt got pictures. They're not great, but that's what undercover iPhone picture taking will do to you.

The ending scene of Bond (in a desert hotel) confused me to pieces. Things blowing up for what I thought was absolutely no reason. I leaned over and asked Matt the title to this post. It reminded me of the end to The Notebook. Evidently, a friend of mine was asked, when seeing it with a mutual friend: "Wait. Are they dead?"

OMG. It's LOLCATS: LAW!

When Brian and I were studying for the bar I discovered (and mercilessly mocked) the fact that Brian has a soft spot for LOLCATS! For those of you without the same strange love for LOLCATS, it is a collection of pictures of cats in various adorable circumstances with captions of what the cat is thinking.

So today I was doing a little internet surfing, per usual, and hit the Brian motherload, LOLCATS: Studying for the Bar Edition. So, Brian, this one's for you.

Yes, this is all it takes to brighten Brian's day.

This one I kind of like... because at one time I knew what all those accronyms mean, and could recite them with ease. Now, I have almost no clue. (Only FSDPOR and WITNes are coming back to me... Thanks, Paula F.)

Congratulations are in order because Brian passed the infamous New York bar exam! And this post is my gift to him. Any LOL-ing? :)

I Have A Cool Mom

Usually when your mother is a control freak, you develop social and personality problems that you would rather keep to yourself. If you're Alexis Stewart, you get a TV show and tell anyone who watches. Daughter of Martha Stewart (lucky), Alexis and her best long-named friend Jennifer Koppelman Hutt (who went to law school - which just goes to show you that there are cool lawyers somewhere in the world) ridicule old clips of the Martha Stewart Show, which include gems such as twine collections, linen closets, cupcake decorating, and hemming a pair of pants. Don't be fooled. The show gets dirty and both Alexis and Jennifer get personal. Words such as boner, boobs, douche bag, and others get thrown around. A lot. This is basically the type of show I would want in case that recurring role on 30 Rock doesn't work out.

My Bucket List, Part Deux

After Kate's inspiring post concerning her bucket list (and my photoshop skills), I was inspired to write my own bucket list (and the post script request at the end of her posting helped, too).

Unlike Kate, I never kept a journal. When I think of journals for men, I think of either Doogie Howser (and I'm no Neil Patrick Harris. I'm much cooler) or Doug Funnie from Doug (you know that reference, admit it).

But as a child, I did have many goals: CEO, President, attorney. I ran the gamut. Clearly, I have accomplished one of those goals (well, save the bar exam), so perhaps it's time to reevalute things. So, in no particular order, here is my bucket list:

1.) Be elected to some public office. Because I'm so popular, I've been elected to many positions in school organizations and the such, but as Kate or anyone within a 3 mile radius of me will tell you, my passion is politics, and conservative politics at that. Thus, being elected to some board or council as a Republican is clearly a hard goal, and one I should get cracking on. (And if Kate could protest against or for me, that would be an added bonus.)

2.) Be part of a corporation. Whether it be running a conglomerate, inventing some gem of a product, or running a restaurant or bar with a bunch of friends, I think I have a unique savvy for the corporate world that has still gone untested.

3.) Go on a roller coaster. I admit it. I've never been on one. I'm deathly scared. I have a stomach that upsets so easily that as a child the tea cups was about as much as I could handle. I'm not talking about some metal, 150 MPH contraption at Six Flags. I'll start off with a wooden coaster that keeps my feet inside a car and my head right side up, thank you very much.

4.) Eat some foods I am currently afraid of. I don't venture very far off my current food path. I readily admit I am a meat and potatoes guy. I have made strides recently, but no where near where I should be. When I'm sort of envious of the women in the commercial who wants to "experiment with salad," something needs to happen. (side note: found this odd blog posting about the commercial).

5.) The dog. Like Kate, I was viciously deprived of this as a child. My brother had allergies so bad, a plastic bubble wasn't out of the question. My dad also told me several times that he would never want a dirty mutt running around the house. Fast forward 15 years: my brother and father both have dogs. It's my time.

6.) Write something. Yes, yes, I've been published in my law review (thanks), but I want to write a book, sitcom, or an hour-long drama. I have great jokes stored up in my head that would work wonderfully on the screen. Even if it never gets published or picked up by CBS, just knowing that I could would mean something.

I think that about does it now for me, too. I know I have more things to accomplish. Many more. I think it would be a good idea for both of us to update these regularly, you know, before we kick the bucket.

My Bucket List

When I was 16 I made a list of things I wanted to do before I died. I wrote this list in my journal (which I still have... the other entries are a ridiculous and embarrassing glimpse into my 16 year old mind), and I titled the list "How To Live A Good Life." These were all the things I thought were important to a full and happy life. Essentially, I wrote a "bucket list" years before Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman got involved.

So here's what was on my list then...
*Get a dog
*Live abroad
*Learn to play piano
*Sing in public
*Learn to cook

That's it. That's the whole list, as written in 1999. This seems like a pretty easy life list, right? (Guess my ambitions were not so high back at the turn of the century.) Well, low ambitions or not, I have accomplished exactly NONE of my goals.

To be fair to my life so far, I can play a few simple songs on the piano and can read sheet music, I have sung at a few friends' weddings, and I know how to make a few meals (with varied degrees of success).

So, as Morgan Freeman said in another movie, I better 'get busy livin' or get busy dyin'" already! But more importantly, (more important even than living the advice of Morgan Freeman's movie characters) I think I need to revise the list to reflect my adult ambitions. Here goes.

1.) Meet and become friends with Tina Fey. (Obviously. Just meeting her would be amazing, but these are life goals, let's shoot for the stars.)


2.) Get a dog. (This one stays. My parents repeatedly ignored my pleas for a dog my entire life... time to take matters into my own hands.)

3.) Sing in public. (This one stays too, but to clarify, no church event counts. Ideally, this would be where the attendees paid to get in. And karaoke doesn't count.)
4.) March in a protest. (I don't know why... but I think this is important. To get checked off the list, the protest must be something I actually care about.)




5.) Fly an airplane. (This will be checked off if I get to hold the controls for a minute while in the air... and realistically, visiting the cockpit will do the trick, pretty much anything that would get a 3rd grader plastic wings from a flight attendant.)


6.) Cook a holiday meal for a large group of people (at least 10). (Has to be Christmas or Thanksgiving.)

I think that's it for now. I like to think Morgan Freeman would be proud. Any suggestions? Or better yet, what's on your list?

p.s. Confession: I've never seen the movie in the poster. And seeing it is not going on the list.
p.p.s. Brian, I'd like to read your list, and then probably steal it all for my life.

Treat for Brian!

My friend Brian is the truest of all the conservatives in the land. Years from now, when most of us will tell our children with pride that we voted for Obama in 08, Brian will tell any and all who will listen that he was one of the few, the proud, the guy who voted for McCain/Palin, and he would do it again. This video is for him, to get him through these difficult times of Hope and Change.


Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Getting Closer to Our Shared Goal

It's no secret that the ultimate dream of ours is to meet Tina Fey in person. One of the main reasons I moved to New York in the first place was to get closer to realizing that dream. Kate had already plotted where 30 Rock's studio is located and several I Love Lucy-like plots to meet Tina.

Well, last night, my friends, I got us one step closer. I made my first venture to the West Side in what seemed like weeks (and for those who live on the opposite of Manhattan, it seriously is the hardest thing to do - it's also like a foreign country - not as bad as Little Chechnya, but you get the point) and made it to the Stand Up New York comedy club. It was one of those places where you had a 2 drink minimum, but I didn't mind: I was more intrigued by the menu, which said that as NYC's premier stand up club, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock (and two of three other people I guess I was supposed to know) may show up at any moment. Well, we were not disappointed. The second act of the night was none other than Judah Friedlander who plays Frank on 30 Rock. I don't remember much of his act, but he appeared to be exactly like his character on TV, goofy trucker hats and all. And best of all, the picture on his official website is exactly what he was wearing last night.

Compare the website on left, last night on right (don't worry - it's the same):










Moral of the story: Look out Liz Lemon!

NY Marathon 2009, Baby!

After watching the NY Marathon literally 10 feet from my apartment, I got instantly motivated to run it next year. Yes, I have never been able to run a mile in under 20 minutes, and I am often winded after climbing a single set of stairs, but I think 12 months of preparation should be enough. I hope to stay motivated for an entire year, but I have a feeling that this might be me a few months into training: