My Bucket List

When I was 16 I made a list of things I wanted to do before I died. I wrote this list in my journal (which I still have... the other entries are a ridiculous and embarrassing glimpse into my 16 year old mind), and I titled the list "How To Live A Good Life." These were all the things I thought were important to a full and happy life. Essentially, I wrote a "bucket list" years before Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman got involved.

So here's what was on my list then...
*Get a dog
*Live abroad
*Learn to play piano
*Sing in public
*Learn to cook

That's it. That's the whole list, as written in 1999. This seems like a pretty easy life list, right? (Guess my ambitions were not so high back at the turn of the century.) Well, low ambitions or not, I have accomplished exactly NONE of my goals.

To be fair to my life so far, I can play a few simple songs on the piano and can read sheet music, I have sung at a few friends' weddings, and I know how to make a few meals (with varied degrees of success).

So, as Morgan Freeman said in another movie, I better 'get busy livin' or get busy dyin'" already! But more importantly, (more important even than living the advice of Morgan Freeman's movie characters) I think I need to revise the list to reflect my adult ambitions. Here goes.

1.) Meet and become friends with Tina Fey. (Obviously. Just meeting her would be amazing, but these are life goals, let's shoot for the stars.)


2.) Get a dog. (This one stays. My parents repeatedly ignored my pleas for a dog my entire life... time to take matters into my own hands.)

3.) Sing in public. (This one stays too, but to clarify, no church event counts. Ideally, this would be where the attendees paid to get in. And karaoke doesn't count.)
4.) March in a protest. (I don't know why... but I think this is important. To get checked off the list, the protest must be something I actually care about.)




5.) Fly an airplane. (This will be checked off if I get to hold the controls for a minute while in the air... and realistically, visiting the cockpit will do the trick, pretty much anything that would get a 3rd grader plastic wings from a flight attendant.)


6.) Cook a holiday meal for a large group of people (at least 10). (Has to be Christmas or Thanksgiving.)

I think that's it for now. I like to think Morgan Freeman would be proud. Any suggestions? Or better yet, what's on your list?

p.s. Confession: I've never seen the movie in the poster. And seeing it is not going on the list.
p.p.s. Brian, I'd like to read your list, and then probably steal it all for my life.

Treat for Brian!

My friend Brian is the truest of all the conservatives in the land. Years from now, when most of us will tell our children with pride that we voted for Obama in 08, Brian will tell any and all who will listen that he was one of the few, the proud, the guy who voted for McCain/Palin, and he would do it again. This video is for him, to get him through these difficult times of Hope and Change.


Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Getting Closer to Our Shared Goal

It's no secret that the ultimate dream of ours is to meet Tina Fey in person. One of the main reasons I moved to New York in the first place was to get closer to realizing that dream. Kate had already plotted where 30 Rock's studio is located and several I Love Lucy-like plots to meet Tina.

Well, last night, my friends, I got us one step closer. I made my first venture to the West Side in what seemed like weeks (and for those who live on the opposite of Manhattan, it seriously is the hardest thing to do - it's also like a foreign country - not as bad as Little Chechnya, but you get the point) and made it to the Stand Up New York comedy club. It was one of those places where you had a 2 drink minimum, but I didn't mind: I was more intrigued by the menu, which said that as NYC's premier stand up club, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock (and two of three other people I guess I was supposed to know) may show up at any moment. Well, we were not disappointed. The second act of the night was none other than Judah Friedlander who plays Frank on 30 Rock. I don't remember much of his act, but he appeared to be exactly like his character on TV, goofy trucker hats and all. And best of all, the picture on his official website is exactly what he was wearing last night.

Compare the website on left, last night on right (don't worry - it's the same):










Moral of the story: Look out Liz Lemon!

NY Marathon 2009, Baby!

After watching the NY Marathon literally 10 feet from my apartment, I got instantly motivated to run it next year. Yes, I have never been able to run a mile in under 20 minutes, and I am often winded after climbing a single set of stairs, but I think 12 months of preparation should be enough. I hope to stay motivated for an entire year, but I have a feeling that this might be me a few months into training:

"There's Cheese in my Rhine Wine"

Picture it: Four New York socialites traveling to bumble Virginia for a fellow socialite's birthday. Fish out of water. We were in for one hell of a weekend.

We of course traveled in style: a rented Dodge Avenger from the local Alamo. A hop, skip, and an EZPass later, we crossed the line into Loudon County, Virginia.

Before we arrived at Les Doux, Hamilton, VA (the birthday girl's house) - also a Hills reference for those of you who missed it (but it doesn't mean the birthday girl is like Heidi, because that's just mean) we needed an appropriate accompaniment. A stop at the local Safeway provided much needed comic and alcoholic relief. Upon arriving at the wine section, conveniently located to left of the front door, we came across a sea of white cardboard boxes: Franzia and Almaden appeared as a supermarket oasis. A few minutes of reading the various selections of red, white, and other, we settled on Almanden's Mountain Rhine Wine, 12% alcohol by volume. Fit for a king.

We arrived on scene, only 45 fashionable minutes late. After some slightly awkward introductions, we settled in for some silent college football, and a discussion about debris in my cup. We also Cha-Cha'd to confirm where the name Rhine Wine came from, since Almaden is made in the U.S. of A, and not, contrary to popular belief, Germany. We found out, but I won't bore you. Thrills.

Finally, at some point, someone mentioned the 800 pound gorilla in the room: the computerized Catch Phrase game. I, of course, rocked (it's a cross I bare). After the ice breaker, things really warmed up. We played a Jeopardy drinking game and made fun of the floozy returning champion, Larissa Kelly.


(Side note: this was confirmed by Alex Trebek. On the "interview" portion of the show, Alex mentioned something about her lame mock trial experience in high school, to which Alex inquired: did you get them (the fake criminals) off every time? She said, most of the time. He said: "Well, you're getting some off now." Confirmation! And awk!).

The party continued with the requisite beer pong, flip cup, cupcake eating, fun with bottle opening and body parts (picture soon).

All in all, we had fun, made new friends (people like me, it's another cross I bare), and renewed our love of all things suburban and boxed.

"Yeah, I have a question... how dare you?"

I think it is time that I explain the inception of this blog (about thangs).

While my dear friend Brian and I were studying for the New York (him) and the Virginia (me) bar exams (which I totally passed btw), we would do ANYTHING to avoid studying. One day in my free time I was googling "So You Think You Can Dance," something I do at an embarrassing frequency, not only when I want to avoid studying. Well, that day, the stars and google collided because I stumbled upon a blog (but really it was a vlog) that recapped SYTYCD. And one of the vloggers was Bizzaro Brian. He could be his twin brother.

Don't believe me? See twin vlogging here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEyaSMtK4vU&eurl=http://ablogaboutthings.com/search/label/SYTYCD



Brian on the left. "Brian's twin" on the right. No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you.... it's TWO people.



So now that we agree that they are twins.... moving on.

Not to be outdone, Actual Brian (not Bizarro Brian) and I decided to start a blog of our own to catalog our lives and the fun things we spot along the way.

Brian's twin (we'll call him "Pat," because that is his name) has a blog called, adorably, http://ablogaboutthings.com/. So, in a stroke of genius, Brian unveiled our blog, an even more adorable, ablogaboutthangs!

And the blog was born!

The story clearly does not end there. Which leads me to the title of this installment. "Yeah, I have a question... how dare you?"

So Pat lives in NYC, where Brian recently moved. How perfect, right?! 2 twins, 1 city of dreams... doesn't get much better. Since the move I have become obsessed with the two of them meeting and then by extension us all becoming awesome friends.

Well, the first step to any awesome friendship is internet friendship. So, in an attempt at just that, I facebooked Pat "Brian's twin." Before you call me a creepy internet stalker, he was extremely easy to find. It was as if he (and fate) wanted me to find him. So click-click-beep-beep, Pat had a friend request from me. I assumed within the hour we would be well on our way to actual friendship, or at the very least I would have a list of his favorite movies and be able to see what he did this weekend in the city because what if we were in the same neighborhood and didn't even know it?
Well, Brian's twin had other plans for us. Brace yourself blogging world (or, Matt, the one person who reads this blog). He DENIED my friendship. Such a burn.

I hardly know who I am anymore... or the purpose of this blog. It's the worst. To be denied internet friendship is such an insult. Because all it takes to be internet friends it clicking accept and then the duties of friendship officially end. And the perks are unlimited stalking. It's win-win. Well apparently my FB internet personality was just not enough. (Which is absurd... seriously, go check it out.)

Good thing this isn't my first time at the rodeo. A few minutes after I got over the shock of the friendship denial I moved on. If I can't have a new internet friendship, I'll do the next best thing, create a fake internet personality in his network and just stalk away.

I guess all's well that ends well... as long as Brian's twin never sees this post and gets a (reasonable but nonetheless hurtful) restraining order. How dare you?

How old do I look? Really.

"I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!"

So while attending the Jenny Youngs/Aaron Fleck wedding extravaganza last weekend I broke one of my cardinal rules of weddings... I danced with a child. (NB: I don't have anything against children. In fact, I love children--they are the future. But they don't belong at weddings. Don't belong in them awkwardly throwing rose petals. Don't belong at the reception dominating the dance floor, which, in my opinion, should be reserved for adults dancing to "Shout" and drinking/spilling wine.)

So there I am dancing with a cute as can be 5 year old, and this 25 year old guy (the brother of a girl I went to college with) looks at me and the boy and says, "Is this your son?" What the heck? Either I look like the kind of girl who got knocked up at age 20 (and this is all kinds of bad, because I did not think I was dressed like a 'mom,' even a young/cool mom, and especially not a Jamie Lynn Spears style mom) or he thought I was older than my (and his) 25 years. I was beyond offended.




On the other hand, I went to see Pineapple Express with my friend Kelly yesterday. (It is hilarious. See it, and wait for the line "Where should we go?! A hotel? Motel? Holiday Inn?" During the previews Kelly and I had a heated debate over who deserves/should get James Franco--she won. Congratulations, Kelly. If we ever meet James Franco, you've got dibs.)


Pineapple Express is rated R, which means you have to be 17 to see the movie. Rest assure that the AMC 24 in Edmond, Oklahoma is strictly enforcing this standard. Because when I went up to the ticket counter and asked for a ticket to Pineapple Express, the young man taking tickets, who I thought looked about 17, asked me for an ID. What? So I asked him, "What kind of ID?" As in, I don't have a student ID or a movie watchers card. The youngster taking tickets wanted to see, "Ya know, like a driver's license will be fine." Take that guy who asked me if I had a 5 year old kid.