Saturday, November 22, 2008

Whatever happened to predictability?

My good friend Amy recently told me that studies now show that watching tv can do a great deal of damage to babies. For example, she told me tv around infants younger than 2 can result in autism or other brain development disorders. Well, I am a living example of how extremely true that is.

My parents basically raised me on tv, and not the 'good for kids tv.' I'm not sure I've
ever seen an episode of Sesame Street (although I lie about it sometimes to fit in, seriously). On the other hand we have acutal home videos of my baby self watching tv with my dad. They're not that exciting... probably because my baby brain was melting.

Long story short, I am a long time fan of tv. I am a much bigger fan/connoisseur than I usual let on. But now that I know it's my parents' fault, let's just embrace it.

The first couple of shows I can remember loving when I was a little kid were The Simpsons and Full House. IMDB tells me these shows both started around the time I was four. Nice parenting, Gordy and Deb... shouldn't I have been in some child ballet class or something? (What parents deny their daughter ballet lessons?! But that's clearly a story for another blog or a therapist's office.)

At the time. I thought the Full House world was the greatest place on earth. I always related most to Stephanie because we were about the same age and suffered from severe middle child syndrome.

(Although, not to harp on the issue, Stephanie's parents put her in dance class. I'm sure we all remember the "Motown Philly" dance episode (3:30 to the end):
and her dancing on the telethon:

Face it, Stephanie was adorable back then. But unfortunately, recent events have led me to believe that I picked the wrong Full House character to align myself with.

As we have all learned from Perez Hilton, Tyler Durden and even the more reputable People magazine, the real life Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) has had her ups and (mostly) downs.

At press time for this blog, Jodie Sweetin is separated from her second husband with whom she has a 6 month old baby (pictured above), divorced from her police officer first husband, and most notably a recovering meth addict... not to mention a washed up child star.

Which, obviously, begs the question... whatever happened to predictability?

Kipmif, It's not all bad news for Full House world though. Bob Saget is a little pervy, but not publicly addicted to meth, so he wins that round over Stephanie. Joey Gladstone broke Alanis Morisette's heart which led to some amazing angry chick music, which I am staunchly in favor of.

But as far as role models go... Clearly I should have chosen Lori Laughlin; she still looks amazing (pictured here with Zac Efron, nothing wrong with that). Or at least the Olsen twins. And I think we can all agree that John Stamos has definitely still got it.