Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Things I Don't Get. Part 1 of 245786

Do I complain a lot? It may seem so, but maybe there are a lot of things I just don't get in life. Here are two recent examples.

Old People Texting
What is with this? I remember when I texted my mom once (and she's no spring chicken - love you!), and about 30 seconds later I received a call from her saying "Brian, I think my phone is broken." Enough said? You would think so.

Often Matt receives texts from his mother (God love her) with odd spacing, odd capital letters in the middle of words (a la tweens on MySpace who spell their names like this AsHlEiGh (I guess it's a girl from Boulder, but I digress)) and often times just doesn't make sense which then necessitates a phone call. Frustration level = 8.5.

Gym Attire

There are two types of people I don't get here. The first is the guy (and the occasional girl, at least from my experience) who gets dressed up to go to the gym. In a single day, I saw a duo of gentlemen in fashionista Puma shoes (one pair was silver), tight-ish sweat pants (think Juicy sweatpants but for men) and long-sleeve, high thread count, high-quality workout shirts. If these fools weren't going to the gym, they'd be set for a night out on the town. Who are you trying to impress by dressing up at the gym? The hottie next to you sweating like a prostitute in church? The middle-aged women speedwalking on the treadmill? Jeesh.

The second guy wears intentionally small tank tops and workout shorts so that we all can gaze at his guns and sculpted legs. No one is impressed that you know how to use the free weights or machines. In fact, no one wants to see you grab extra free weights from another station and place them on your machine, because that catwalk across the gym is oh so cool. And please, don't try to help me out and tell me how to use the weights. I know I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but that doesn't mean I need advice from you.

Bitterness, out!